#either way it was an in between fic so its natural stopping place was when jimmy was reunited with everyone else

[t0yac1d]

i was wondering if u wrote for any of the euphoria characters u said u write for any fandom so im wondering if euphoria is one of them and if it is could u do a friends with benefits fic for either elliot or maddy pls! if not then pls ignore this! i hope everything is going well!

Friends with Benefits (M.Perez x F!Reader)

Warnings: Smut, fingering, thigh humping, oral, face sitting, pet names, praise

Notes: Of course I write for Euphoria Maddy's one of my favorite characters although I love Elliot I gotta write for my girl especially since she's played by Alexa Demie.

Word Count: 1,638

If I'm being honest, the relationship happens so naturally that the two of you didn't give it a second thought or talk about it. You like being Maddy's friend. The two of you get along so well that you do anything together. And you guys are just so close and comfortable, you guys cuddle, do each other's hair, give each other pecks on the cheek, change in front of each other, even letting Maddy straddle you as she does your makeup or your eyebrows. You guys are just the best of friends and you love that.

But you can't deny any of the feelings you have for her. She just reels you in with her personality and obviously her looks. She's an honest person, she keeps everything real and speaks nothing but the truth. But you can't stop the dirty and vulgar thoughts every time she bends over. You can't stop the way your body reacts when you guys are cuddled up and you feel her body press up against you and her leg wrapping around your waist.

I mean yeah, it's embarrassing and you'd feel guilty for thinking of your friend in such a dirty way. You feel guilty for staring too long when watching her change into some more comfortable clothes before your girl's night begins. The night starts off with Maddy straddling you and doing her makeup look on your face so you two could match and take a couple of pictures. But this time it was different, at least it felt different. She did her usual routine on you, cleaning your face and putting some moisturizer on you. But it felt like her goal wasn't to do your makeup.

Maddy, very subtly, grinded against your thigh. You didn't notice anything until you slightly moved the leg that was under her. She stifled a moan and acted as if nothing happened. Your eyes were closed, enjoying the moment between the two of you but it was hard to keep them closed when Maddy continuously rubbed herself against you. You tested the waters, moving your hands up her hips and moving your leg against her.

She placed her brush, which didn't have anything on it, down on her bed. Placing her hands beside your head. "Sorry.." she whispered, causing you to smile and open your eyes, looking up at her, "Don't apologize, lemme help you."

She hesitated, she could just get off of you right now and hope to calm herself down. But before she could decide what to do you move her hips, and she feels dizzy at the way you're looking up at her, maintaining eye contact as your grip on her hip tightens. "Please, mami?" you ask.

She thinks it's a joke. Maybe she's meant to laugh and tell you that friends don't do all that. But in all honesty, she's been feeling so needy and her pussy is just soaking and begging to be touched right now. "You want to? You don't have to just because I'm acting like this."

"Yeah, plus its been a while since I've done anything. Kinda craving it." you chuckle. Maddy nods her head and smiles before her lips form an 'o'. You're moving your leg against her and the friction is driving her insane. She leans her head down in the crook of your neck, whimpering and moaning in your ear turning you on. It doesn't take long for her movement to quicken and for her to cum in her shorts. She loved that, it's so nice with you, especially how gentle you were with her.

She already likes you, and now she just got off from riding your thigh, maybe she'll get a chance to get eaten out by you or maybe even fingered. Fuck, she wants a lot from you now.

She barely even caught her breath from her orgasm before you suggested something.

"You think I could eat you out too?"

That's how she ended up on your face, her fingers in your hair and her hips bucking against your nose. Your chin drenched in her juices and your saliva. You're eating her out as if you were starving. She's trembling and whining your name as she cums and shakes for a second time.

Neither of you needed to mention anything, with just one look and a kiss you guys agreed to become friends-with-benefits. It's perfect for the two of you, you really like her, being friends with her, and you like to fuck so it's a win win for you guys.

Three days go by and Maddy is pulling you from your friend group and to an empty classroom. She's so riled up and clearly upset from something, or someone. You ask her what happened while kissing her neck and pulling her skirt up. She goes on a rant about something having to do with Cassie and Nate. You give her a "Mhm.." while pushing her panties to the side, and sliding a finger up and down her folds.

"Then while I was at her house- shit..Rue comes in and.." she trails off, eyes rolling back as she forgets her train of thought. "What happened when Rue came in, baby?"

"Um..C-Cassie said some nice things like..telling her to hah take her time with recovery..a-and.." she can't concentrate when your fingers are moving in and out of her pussy. "I'm listening."

"Rue asked her how long she's been fucking Nate..and turns out they've been fuck- fucking for a while." she chuckled, hands gripping your shoulders as her leg rested on your hip. You worked your fingers in and out of her, curling and hitting that one spot that makes her eyes roll back. Her moans grew louder as her orgasm approached, you used your free hand to cup her face and pull her in for a kiss, muffling her moans.

Her hips bucked against your hand, her clit getting some friction as she came in your palm. "Well, it's a good thing you don't have to worry about him anymore. Right?" you smiled, pulling her close and allowing her to catch her breath.

The two of you start experimenting more. Trying all of the things Nate never wanted to do with her. Learning and exploring more of each other's bodies. The best part is that there aren't any secrets between you. You're best friends after all, you tell each other everything, and do everything.

Maddy mentions how Nate, or any guy she's been with hasn't treated her as good nor have they treated her good in bed when you have her on your face as you eat her out for a whole hour. And it makes your heart flutter to see her so happy all because of you!

The whole friends-with-benefits thing feels so easy and natural. Maddy finds you, whether it be in the halls or your house, she tells you what got her so stressed or upset, and you fuck her right there against the wall or door and afterward on your bed or on a desk. And you won't stop until she squirts and cums all over you, becoming a mess under you.

The two of you cuddle for a movie marathon, and your hand just so casually and naturally slips into Maddy's shorts, rubbing circles around her clit while her hand slips into your pants as she slips two of her pretty fingers in. The movie long forgotten as you guys focus on cumming rather than the ending of the movie.

When you're stressed and exhausted from the assignments piling up she slips under your desk and pulls your pants down along with your panties, eating you out and slowly fingering you until you cum all over her fingers. She licks her fingers clean and massages your inner thigh telling you that you'll do fine and that you'll pass the semester.

You guys haven't noticed that you're practically a couple already. The kissing, the dates, the sex, the "I love yous", everything should've given it away as well as the way you guys look at each other and the fact that neither of you seemed interested in dating someone else.

You guys were invited to a party together, which is a normal thing for friends to do. Although, you admit that the way you guys dance with each other now is a bit different than before. But it's perfectly fine, plus neither of you mind if people know that you guys are friends-with-benefits.

Only thing that's new is when she turns to you and kisses you right there in the middle of the floor, and it makes you feel happy that you're the only one she kisses. You can't pull away from her, she's intoxicating, she makes your mind spin and heart flutter.

The only person who really asks about the two of you are Lexi and Kat. They walked into the kitchen and found you pressing Maddy up against the fridge with your tongue down her throat and her hands gripping your shoulders and pulling you closer by the back of your neck.

"What the fuck?!" Kat exclaimed, visibly confused, "You two are dating?" Lexi asked.

"No?" you answered, though it sounded more like a question. "Then what is this?" Kat asked, "We're just friends, duh." Maddy laughed, "Bullshit." Lexi laughed. "We are! We just make out and fuck sometimes."

"Uh huh.."

"Oh shit, you guys are dating?" Rue asked, walking in on the scene. "It was about time, you guys have been practically married since you guys met." she chuckled, filling her red solo cup with more alcohol and leaving, taking Lexi with her, Kat following.

"I didn't know we were married. But I like it, how about you?" you smiled, leaning close to the girl, "I don't mind being married to you." she smiled kissing you.

[ailoda]

ᯓ★ favourite writers

@luveline

@whirlybirbs

@pellucid-constellations

@aquaticmercy

@wkemeup

@intrepidacious

ᯓ★ favourite fics

Undisclosed - @pellucid-constellations

Desperate to outrun a secret that could cost you your life, you seek refuge in a small mountain town. Its deep forests and small cabins make it the perfect place to hide, but the travel website hadn’t mentioned anything about the quiet, burly lumberjack that wouldn’t leave your thoughts. No one had warned Bucky about you either.

I remember this being one of the first series I read after coming back to Tumblr. I wasn't one for Marvel AU’s at the time, as I preferred to read canon or adjacent fics, but I took a chance on this one and it completely changed everything. I absolutely loved it. It has the perfect amount of fluff and angst, and a plot to rival some of my favourite published work. The story and background are so well-placed and developed that it was too easy to fall in. I devoured this in I think two days - non-stop reading until I finished. It completely opened me up to AU’s. I come back so often as a sort of comfort read, and no matter how many times I’ve read it, I still get excited and devour it like I’ve never read it before. One of the first fics I thought of when compiling my 2024 favourites.

Just One Kiss - @sarahwroteathing

Bucky Barnes has been chasing after you since he was ten years old, but you’re determined not to give in. How long can you hold out when all he’s asking for is just one kiss?

This writer no longer seems to have an account on Tumblr. If anyone knows whether they have an active account elsewhere or have just moved accounts, please let me know!

This was the first 40s!Bucky fic that I read and is to blame for my 40s!Bucky obsession that has lasted all these months. I was completely enthralled from the first paragraph, and it stands as my favourite 40s!Bucky fic and easy my top 3 series overall. I religiously come back when looking for a comfort read or for getting my 40s!Bucky fix. It's amazing how well the characters (both canon and not) have been interpreted and developed, and as simple as the plot feels, it just works so well. There's no need for any plot twists or big moments to push the story along; the characters and the way they all naturally feed and contribute to the overall plot are more than enough. It's written so well that, despite reading it well over 10 times, I still feel all the emotions and feel just as empty finishing it as I did when I first read it. I really wish this was a printed book that I could have on my shelf; that I can always reach for and never be deleted (pls don't ever delete it!). It’s the cutest fic that has me laughing, crying, and kicking my feet no matter how many times I read it.

Twin Flames / Two Sides of The Same Coin - @anonymityisfunwriter

Grumpy x Sunshine Series

I couldn't decide on one - they both HAD to be included. These are to blame for my falling completely in love with fan fiction after a decade away. I hadn’t had Tumblr in so many years and decided to re-download during my Masters for some escapism, and boy did this deliver. The dynamic is amazing - the way they bounce off each other is a testament to the amazing writing and character development. The way they manage to create a sunshine!reader with so much backstory without it feeling childish or forced is, again, a testament to the amazing writing and planning, and just…*chef’s kiss*. Despite taking some plot points from canon films, I really enjoyed how these scenes didn't feel boring or repetitive. Similarly, I love how the reader is able to fit in seamlessly into scenes that we had already seen and bounce off an already established dynamic between Sam and Bucky. The thought and effort that must have gone into the reader's character development, never mind the series as a whole, is so evident. I have re-read and re-read these for months and will continue to do so until the end of time.

By Any Other Name - @wkemeup

When Agent Barnes is assigned undercover within Hydra, he finds himself drawn to the woman who doesn’t seem to belong in this world of violence, the wife to the head of Hydra… you. 

I re-read this quite recently and it felt like finding an old song that you loved hidden in your playlist. I've now re-read it twice in the span of a week, it's just so good. This fic stood out to me partly because of its writing and interesting and well-thought-out plot, but also because of how well-written I feel the reader is. The reader is multi-faceted and far from one dimensional, which I've found is a barrier for me reading these types of fics. While the reader embodies typical traits associated with feminine protagonists in this genre - such as submissiveness and other conventionally 'feminine' attributes - these are not portrayed as weaknesses in the typical sense. What I mean is that they are reframed to be strategic strengths. She wields her femininity and perceived lack of power in a wholly make-dominated environment to her advantage. At the same time, her 'true' strengths compliment these qualities, creating a balanced and complex character that also has room for the development we see throughout the fic. A defining aspect of the reader's personality that I really enjoy is her self-awareness; they know when and how to act, and when to hold back, making her a compelling and empowered figure in a story and genre where that is so difficult to achieve.

From the Void, with Love - @whirlybirbs

Watch two forever-lovers fall in love again. 

This was my first Loki series, and boy was it a good one to start with. I'm not one to read Loki fics usually as I can never usually find ones that entice me, but I was so happy to have stumbled upon this! A testament to the planning and writing ability was the way the reader’s involvement in the TVA storyline was interweaved without it feeling unnatural or forced. I love how the inner-workings of the reader's mind is included, and how their thoughts and feelings are so seamlessly interwoven into scenes without it feeling clunky or taking away from what's going on. I also really enjoyed the comedic elements, particularly the thoughts and reactions the reader had to things happening and how they bounced off Loki's dialogue so well. I found myself laughing so many times. It's one of those fics where you wish you could go back and read it for the first time again.

When It All Falls Apart - @bucky-bucket-barnes

The fate of the universe was in your hands. Bucky and you had been sent to retrieve the soul stone, a seemingly simple task. Unbeknownst to you, there was a hefty price to pay for such an exchange. You’re able to return to Earth, but it’s soon apparent part of you was left in Vormir.

This has to be one of my favourite fics of all time, but I also hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it. It feeds my deepest, most love-deprived soul. I personally feel that angst is so challenging to write and write well. Part of why I feel that way is because I feel that good angst needs to convey emotions and feelings effectively because it's about expressing the character's inner world and guiding how they feel to drive and guide the plot forward. A difficult aspect of this is ensuring the reader feels and understands the character's emotions rather than letting their own feelings cloud their perception and misinterpret the character's rationale and journey - keeping the story's emotional trajectory clear and true to the characterisation you have set. This is something that this writer can do so so very well. I cried the first time reading it, and the emotions still hit me after reading it over and over again. If anyone watches K-Drama’s, this has Uncontrollably Fond vibes. Such a good read if you’re looking for that heart-ripping angst.

My Own Soul’s Warning - @aquaticmercy

You, an immortal being, fall in love with the very mortal Bucky Barnes. You would do anything for him, even if it meant you had to strike a deal with Death herself.

This is another fic that I wish I could go back and read it again for the first time. I fell in love immediately. It's the fic that cemented @aquaticmercy one of my favourite writers. Well, that and the fact that they have some of the most intriguing and well-thought-out plot ideas that I've seen. It's difficult to choose a single fic really, but I cannot not choose 'My Own Soul's Warning' - it's a difficult one to compete with for me. The writing is one of the best I’ve read and the flow and feel of the story is second to none. It seems that with every new addition to this story, it just gets better and better (which I thought was impossible). They are able to narrate feelings and emotions so beautifully that it's impossible to not feel what the reader is experiencing. One of my favourite aspects is how they are able to think of things I would never have even thought of, and how they are able to write and explain these things and communicate feelings so well. Another aspect as to why this is so beautifully written, and why @aquaticmercy is a favourite, is when a writer can - without being explicit in their writings - craft a story where the depth of emotions is palpable without needing to be spelt out, leaving readers to grasp and feel them on their own. Where the reader is feeling more than their own emotions and feelings in response to the story, but also what the writer has curated and intended them to feel. Being able to do this without explicit writing is so difficult, and part of the reason why they are one of my favourite writers in general. I've tried to explain my deep feelings for this fic in a way that hopefully makes sense, but it's difficult to write everything I love because there is just so much to say. I am in love and we are married.

[bluerthanvelvet444]

ᯓ★⋆˚🅰🅿🆁🅸🅲🅸🆃🆈⋆｡˚ ⁀➷

(Peter Maximoff x fem!reader)

tags: smut with plot and a bit of fluff in the end.

warnings: subby!Peter, restraints, handjob, fingering, riding, p in v, denied orgasm, praise, mentions of abuse, mentions of alcohol, mentions of fight, swearing.

summary: Peter gets captured by the villains. This fic takes place after x-men apocalypse and before x-men dark phoenix.

character count: 19k.

full fic under the cut ↓

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

Memoir. What’s its provenance? What is it?

According to scientists, memories are “formed as a result of connections between neurons in the brain”. The poet Sylvia Plath, instead, “sardonically embraced the most horrific and vulgar fragments from the storehouse of collective memory”. The great philosopher Aristotle believed that “memory is like a writing that remains etched in wax, and whose inscriptions remain more or less durable”.

Although you continually researched and seeked in books for the perfect depiction, you weren’t able to find anything that could comply with your personal belief. You were staunch that memories are, in fact, the mirror of our being. Disgraceful memories, glorious ones…they’re both needed to construct the way we act, the way we think, and the way we are. You had always been involved in memoir personally, because of your quirk. You had the marvelous capacity of intruding into one’s memories. You couldn’t directly change or interact with them, instead, you could see, reproduce, assimilate and mimic them. Phenomenal, isn’t it? You may think it is but, your biggest gift to you was, in fact, your biggest ruin. Your life started its downgrade the exact moment you found out about it. You remembered it all.

You were standing small in front of your mother, who had either fallen asleep or passed out. The bottle of cheap tequila in her hands made both answers valid. You were just a kid but you knew it wasn’t easy. Your father had left when you were just a fetus in your mother’s womb. Since then, she had never been the same. All the bills, the rent, expenses were on her. Her job exhausted her and the little time she had left, she spent drowning her worries in alcohol. She didn’t need any more problems, so you never told her about that awkward energy growing inside of you. That particular day you felt it bigger than ever, the need to find out what it led to even stronger. So you put your tiny fingers on her temples, as the little voice in your head told you to, and you started seeing. All of your mother's life was flashing in front of your eyes quickly. You stopped at one particular memory, you inspected it. Your mother stood pregnant in front of a man that kept yelling at her. You put the pieces of the puzzles together. It was clear, and the new knowledge of the situation triggered something inside of you, inside of your power. You kept replaying and replaying the scene, tears in your eyes, as the man’s words dissolved from the memory and came directly out of your mouth. That woke your mother up, she was holding her head as the same image kept banging in her mind, and as the man’s voice spit those known words harshly from your little mouth. She yelled for you to stop, and you lowkey wish you never did. As soon as you stopped, she grabbed you and threw you inside of-what you playfully called-the dark room, your basement.

“I-I’m sorry…I can’t-you’re him…I-I see him-” Her words came out broken from her mouth, her sobs stopping her mid-sentence as she locked you inside.

That became a habit since then. You grew up in the “dark room”, hardly ever going outside if not to eat and respond to natural calls. Your main activity was watching TV and day-dreaming about the outside world. You knew it was better than what you were living, it had to be. Especially because you found out that you weren’t crazy or evil but that you simply belonged to a different species. They called them mutants.And apparently, there was a school for kids just like you, the interviews of the famous Charles Xavier were the ones you liked watching the most on TV. As the years went by, your urge to run away grew more and more, and so you did. One day in the early 70s, you grabbed all of your things and left, taking advantage of your mom’s blackout. You took different taxis and avoided the questions about your young age, and you were finally standing in front of Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters. Although, it seemed different from what you saw on TV: it looked abandoned, the plate with the name on it rusty and absentmindedly resting on the ground, and the gates closed. You tried peeking inside, before being startled by an unfamiliar voice behind you.

“Don’t waste your time. They can’t help you anymore, but we can.”

This is how you found yourself with a group of mutants who had the exact same hopes you had, before they were broken by the closure of the school. You were guided by The Captain-that is how he wanted to be called-that was trying to create a new safe place for young mutants. And his plan seemed to work, kid mutants were actually starting to come…before Xavier’s school opened again. At this point, your group desperately found itself in front of the school’s gate again. You were dismissed,though, by a blue beast mutant.

“We’re sorry, the school only accepts young kids between 5 and 17-” He told you before turning his back.

“You can try and talk to Charles though, I’m sure he will find some space for y-'' He stopped seeing you had all left.

This is why The Captain’s plan was ever created in the first place. He believed that Charles Xavier was a man only drawn by his personal needs, and that he only used the young mutants to gain popularity and be idolized by the US government.

“This is why we were rejected. Our powers aren’t conventionally pleasing. No human kid would ever desire our powers. So if he believes our gifts can’t be used for good, we won’t use them for good.” He spoke firmly to you all.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

Your flow of memories was interrupted by The Captain.

“We’ve captured one. You will watch him while we take care of the others. Do your thing on him and find out his weakness.” He spoke with a deep voice.

You nodded and began making your way downstairs before he gripped your wrist.

“Don’t disappoint me, Y/N.” You felt his piercing gaze in your eyes.

“I won’t.” You gulped and quickly left the room.

When you opened the door you scanned your surroundings. The room was all white, with petty furniture. No windows, a table, a chair, a small closet, and a bed which had a figure laying down on it. You inched closer and scanned the boy. His eyes closed, he was probably knocked out, a few bruises on his skin, his hands and legs restrained by the strong collars around them… he looked your age, his hair was silver with some goggles resting on them. He had a pleasant face to look at, if the circumstances had been different you could’ve even admitted that he was pretty attractive. He was wearing a black protective suit, probably X-men’s equipment, you guessed. The more you observed him, the more you were confused. You expected them to capture the great Mystique, the glorious Magneto…not a newbie. You sighed and started walking towards the desk, ramaging in your bag for a sleeping pill so that you could do your magic without being interrupted.

Peter slowly opened his eyes, he could feel his body sore from the previous fight. He started to panic as he didn’t recognize his surroundings. He tilted his head forwards, noticing the person standing in front of the desk.

“H-hey…! Ppsttttt…Lady! Yes! You! Lady!” You heard his desperate calls.

You walked towards him and stopped at the side of the bed.

“Hi! So there’s a bunch of bad people who captured me and probably want to beat my ass-” You stopped him mid-sentence.

“I know.” You replied with a monotone voice.

“You-you know?! Don’t tell me you’re one of ‘em- oh shit! You’re one of ‘em! C’mon you have to be kiddin’ me…you’re too pretty to be mean! Hey! C’mon help me!” He rushed, his hands and legs squirming at high speeds against the restraints. You didn’t budge at his compliment, instead, you were focused on his movements.

“A speedster, huh.” You mumbled.

“A speed…A speedster?! Babe I'm not a speedster- I’m the speedster! Quicksilver! Peter Maximoff! The one and only!” He replied cockily, almost as if he was offended by your lack of knowledge. You raised your eyebrow, clearly having no clue of who he was.

“Aah babe you’ve got to be kiddin’ me! I’m Quicksilver! The one who beated Apocalypse’s ass! I did it all myself heh- I’m basically a hero, everyone loves me. Don’t ya watch TV or what?” Even though you had no idea who this guy was and what he did to be part of the X-men, you could sense the exaggeration in his words.

“I prefer books.” You shrugged before turning your back and making your way to the desk again.

“Hey! Hey! Where ya goin’?! Are ya a mutant too? Hey, yer not gonna hurt me aren’t ya?! What’s your power? C’mon tell me…What’s your power? Whaddaya do?!”

You rolled your eyes as his continuous questions started to annoy you.

“Will you shut up and let me do what I need to do?!” You snapped while holding between your thumb and index the sleeping pill. His pupils dilated.

“Whoa-whoa…let’s chill down a bit, yea? No need to use that, babe. Ya just gotta ask and I'll do whatever you want me to do.” He said with a smirk forming on his face. You sighed.

“Close your eyes and stay still.” You began pressing your fingers against his temples.

“...Will it hurt?” He said with a nervous smile, big brown eyes looking up at you.

“It doesn’t have to.”

Just like that you were thrown into Peter’s memories. You saw his child self, his mom, his sister…his first time using his powers…Magneto…many memories about Magneto, weird. You decided to dig a little deeper. You replayed the memory where he found out that…

“Magneto is your father?!” You exclaimed, visibly surprised.

“Hehe, I guess…so that’s your power?” He said with a tiny chuckle.

You kept thinking about what you just saw. You never saw a direct contact between Peter and Magneto, so you supposed he didn’t know about his son. That could’ve easily been used against him, you had to tell The Captain. You walked towards the table and gathered your bag.

“That’s a cool power…I’ve never heard ‘bout it. Actually, I’ve never heard ‘bout ya either…do ya have a supervillain name? Why didn’t ya fight with the others?” The words fell rapidly out of his lips. You gulped.

“Just Y/N. I don’t fight with the others. My powers weren’t made for physical combat.” That’s true, they hardly ever let you come with them on missions. You were useless for superheroes as much as you were for supervillains.

“Pffffttt…that’s bullshit! Ya can do those cool things with yer mind! Ya totally have to meet Charles, he’s gott-”

“Charles? Charles’s a selfish man who puts his needs first. I don’t want anything from him.” You scoffed.

“Wha-what? Are ya out of yer mind? Have ya ever even met Charles? He’s the coolest. I was literally a loser who lived in his mom’s basement before meeting him. Always been cool though.” His words made your blood boil, hearing that he didn’t hesitate to help him but discarded you immediately. You told Peter your story, how you truly believed Charles was gonna save you but ended up breaking your inner child’s heart. Your eyes started to water as memories flooded in front of your eyes.

“Hey-I-I’m sorry that happened to ya but- hey- if I get outta here alive, I promise I will take you to the school. The professor will help ya, he always does.” You looked at him, a tiny glimmer of hope appearing in your eyes even though you knew that you couldn’t leave.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

You spent all your day talking to him. He was funny, you had to admit. The nicest company you had ever had. He told you about his family, how he joined the X-men, everything. And before you knew it, the night came.

“Oh uhm. You should get some sleep, you’re probably exhausted.” You said while getting up, ready to leave.

“Wait- uhhh…I can’t really sleep with this armor thingy on. It’s uncomfy.” He complained.

“Oh. Right, I can bring you some clothes. But I…can’t untie you. It’s the rules.” You shrugged.

“No need to. I usually sleep naked.” He winked at you.

“...” You contorted your face, not really knowing how to respond.

“HA! Gotcha. Just kidding. I sleep in my boxers.” He said with a proud grin on his lips.

“...I’ll bring you clothes.” You said before being interrupted again.

“No! Seriously, I just need to take my clothes off.”

You raised your eyebrow.

“...Not because I’m a creep. Simply because my speed speeds my body’s functions, and by speeding it highs my temperature so I get hot.” He spoke as if it was obvious.

“...Right.” You sighed and sat on the edge of the bed.

“How does this thing open?”

“W-whoa whoa…you-are you gonn- wait-” He stuttered as his cheeks slightly reddened.

“You said you wanted your clothes off, and I’m not gonna risk getting scolded by The Captain by freeing you.” You sighed. He gulped and pointed where his zipper was.

C’mon Peter…ya can do this, buddy. Ya just need to focus, yea? Don’t let a fine chick undressing ya speed yer speedy hormones, mh? Peter thought to himself. Your hands gripped the zipper and started pulling it down. Stay focused soldier. His broad chest was revealed as you slowly undressed him. You stopped at his abs to hop on the bed and take his shoes off. As you leaned to pull his boots, your arm slightly brushed his crotch. Holy fucking mother of all the fucking mutants, fuck. She barely touched ya and yer already growing hard, Peter? Must be tha speedy genes, yea, has to be. Totally not has nothing to do with ya being a virgin in your 20s. Nuh-uh. Goddamn you, Peter!

You threw his shoes on the floor, and started pulling his suit down again. You let your gaze linger as he was half-naked in front of you. He was wearing boxers with lightning bolts on them, a tiny chuckle escaped your mouth at that.

“Someone’s excited.” You said with a playful grin on your lips as you pointed at the prominent bulge in his boxers.

“Hey! Not my fault ya got all handsy- how did ya expect me to react?” He said with a tiny blush on his cheeks, he was so cute.

“...And it’s the speedster genes, by tha way. They call me Quickie for a reason.” He replied, annoyed because of how embarrassed he got.

“Do you need help?” You suggested. It may have been wrong, since you were “enemies” and you barely knew each other but…when are you gonna have another cute speedster all for you again?

“DoIneedawhat-” He blurted out, not believing what he just heard.

Your lips curled up in a smirk, and before he could process anything, your fingers grazed his crotch through his underwear.

“Oh- fuck- yea…yes-” He moaned, you giggled.

“So eager, mh?” You teased him by pulling his waistband up and then leaving it smack against his skin. He groaned and nodded, he was so worked up by nothing. You undressed him of his boxers too, his shaft springing free against his stomach, leaving him naked on the bed. His hips bucked up in search of friction. You grinned and gently took his dick in your hand, slowly pumping it.

“Aaah…f-f-yes…please…faster…” He whined.

You giggled and leaned in to kiss his lips gently, muffling his pleas. You started speeding your movements, and he deepened the kiss as his moans rolled off his tongue. As you made out, you could hear the sound of his hands desperately squirming against the restraints.

“Please…let me touch you…” He whimpered, big puppy eyes gazing up at you.

“Mh…sorry, can’t do, baby. It’s the rules.” You smirked and leaned in to peck his lips again. You stopped and sat up to pull off your shirt. He groaned at the sight. You took him in your hands again and fasted your pace even more.

“O-oh..f-fuck...gonna…gonna cum babe…c-cant hold it in…ahh..” You giggled and sped up even more, your mouth working hungrily against his, eating up his moans. He came with a loud groan, muffled by your lips. He kept whining after that.

“Pleasepleaseplease…wanna please ya too…lemme…I’m good at it- I promise…I’m basically a human vibrator-long lasting rose toy- please…” You giggled and nodded, pecking his lips. You took off your pants, before untying one of his hands. He groaned and immediately pulled you closer, his hand making its way under your panties. He suppressed a moan by biting his lip as he felt your slick with his fingers. He gently started circling your clit, and after he heard a few moans of confirmation from you, he began buzzing his fingers against it.

“Ooh…f-fuck…just like that, baby, don’t stop…” You moaned, he answered with a cute whine. He looked up at you, his middle finger gently pushing at your entrance, not fully sliding in. You nodded and bit your lip to suppress any more unholy sound coming out of you as his fingers started to fuck you slowly.

“F-fuck…” You threw your head back. He was gazing up at you with parted lips, as if he had never seen something so breathtaking. He kept picking up the pace, until you stopped his wrist and tied it up again.

“Wha-Wait-Why..? Y-you didn’t like it?” He said with his silver brows furrowed, he was lost and scared of what your answer could’ve been.

“Oh, it was fucking awesome, baby. But I wanna use something else to come, yea? Will you let me do that?” You said in a cooing voice, clearly driving his mind crazy.

“Mhm…yesplease…” He nodded, his gaze not daring to leave your body.

You undid your bra, his eyes widening, and straddled his hips. Your entrance just above his cock. He groaned at the sight, his shaft fully hardening again. You smiled and slowly sinked in, until your hips met his.

“Aaah…w-warm…so warm n’tight…mppph…” He moaned loudly.

You grinned and started slowly sliding your hips up and down repeatedly, reaching a stable pace. You moaned as you started speeding up, yet it wasn’t enough to satisfy you fully.

“Mhh…baby…mind helping me a little?” You said looking down at him.

He moaned and nodded. He started superspeeding his hips to meet yours as you bounced on his cock. The new sensation making you moan loudly.

“Ohhh! Fuck! Just like that, baby…such a good boy…” You groaned as you felt yourself closer. He let out a tiny whimper as he heard your praise and kept speeding up, his wrists and legs straining against the collars, forming tiny red lines.

“Fuckfuckfuck…can i cum? P-please-ah…?” He whined.

“Mhhh...not yet- baby…let me finish first…” You smirked.

He groaned and sped up even more, trying desperately to bring you to the edge. He hissed as he felt that knot in his stomach urging to snap. It didn’t take much for you to come undone. You cried out as you were still jumping up and down at lightning speed. As soon as he felt you clenching around him, he moaned loudly, as he was just about to cum. You quickly pulled him out of you and allowed him to spatter his fluid on your body. He panted heavily, droplets of sweat sinking from his forehead to the mattress. You waited a few moments before grabbing a towel and cleaning you both. You laid down on the bed with him, moving his head on your chest as you ran your fingers in his silver locks, whispering sweet nothings in his ear.

“You're my apricity.” You said while caressing his hair and pecking his temple. His eyes were closed, and he was clearly drifting off to sleep.

“Mh?” He mumbled, not moving one single part of his body, still restrained.

“Apricity. I read that in a book.” You chuckled.

“In simpler words?” He mumbled.

“The warmth of the sun in winter.”

“In even simpler words?” He muttered, his voice coming muffled by your chest.

“My life is the winter, you are the warmth.” You admitted. He didn't answer to that. You weren't sure if he actually understood the concept or even just your words, but one thing you were a hundred percent sure of.

He fell asleep smiling.

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

taglist: @cxndiedvi0lets @angeldollw @marchsfreakshow @newwavesylviaplath @happy74827 @evpeters87

a/n: raaaahh!!! I'm honestly so proud of this, the fic came out just like i imagined. Anyways, hope you like it, love you all🤍🤍

join my taglist!!

all rights reserved.

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

✮ tags ; gn!reader, implied bottom reader, semi-erotic and bloody fingersucking, romance, struggling with intimacy on astarions part, not an established relationship fr, 18+

✮ wc ; 1.6k (literally what in the fucking world)

✮ a/n ; *smacks astarions back* you can fit so much projection onto this thing.

canon divergent i.e. this takes place during act two but reader doesn't sleep w astarion in act one. it's explained in da fic.

The taste of intimacy is acrid.

It's bitter and sharp to the senses. In many ways, he finds it unpleasant. Intolerable. He's lost in thought, primarily caught up in the sensation of your skin pressed against his.

Too much, he decides, this entire affair is proving to be too much.

"You know, there's no need for theatrics," He can almost hear the recoil in his own voice, like hiding away into the shadows when dawn approaches. It's instinctive. "All this...poetry is quite thoughtful but very unnecessary."

Yes. Unnecessary. Somehow it feels violent, though it's anything but. You pull away from him and he winces at your expression - genuine confusion draped across your face. Your skin is hotter than the sun, much warmer than his. You're attractive.

Astarion wonders if he can assess you as beautiful. If he's allowed to use something so flowery.

He can't stop thinking about it. He's played the part of a lover before, so kissing and touching in quiet whispers is not unfamiliar. If that's the sort of affair you wish to have, than Astarion can be apart of it no problem. Whatever makes your desire towards him tangible, whatever you want. The last part he doesn't say out loud, or to himself.

But it was real, just a moment ago, wasn't it? The feeling of your lips on his forehead and the crook of his shoulder was real. The words of affection were real. He was looking for fun, debauchery, pleasure.

This is not that, he decides. He decides, too, that he does not like it.

"I'm sorry?"

"Oh don't play dumb, darling," He says, his throat tightening. It's natural to him, in a way. "Though your heroic romantic gestures are quite something, they're very unnecessary. We both know what we're here for, do we not? A little roughing up is fine."

You pause, and you stare. Your eyes are clear, like the water of the open ocean surrounding the lower city. Even in the darkness, he can see you perfectly. You can see him too, but he can't see himself even in the reflection of your gaze. He wonders if that is some kind of mercy, but remembers quickly that no god has ever shown him such kindness.

And you wouldn't either, or you shouldn't. He convinces himself that its a courtesy, and that this conversation is an attempt at honest between you. He's expecting something different. Maybe a snarky laugh of approval, or a widening set of eyes. Lurid with excitement in all the ways you're okay to defile him.

Most people he's laid with have given him the same. They're pleased with his fluidity. He shows it off like he's water in a beautiful chalice, look at all the forms I can take and adore me.

And yet, you're all but silent. What a terrible conversation to have when he's almost inside of you, he thinks.

"If that is what you desire," You says, your words slow. You then, so softly, draw your thumb over his cheek bone. It takes strength not to recoil. He almost wants to mock you. Wants to bite at the gentle caress of your hand, wants to make you bleed. "But I would've hoped my gestures conveyed my feelings a little better than this."

Shit. Shit.

"Feelings? Have you really taken a page out of the wizards book and written me a poem?"

"It would be easy enough to do," You say, so easily and so naturally - he can't help but show that he is startled. Shaken by the sincerity of every word. Bitter. "If you desire such gestures."

A feeling coils in his chest. He cannot distinguish his urges from each other. Whether it is hunger or desire. Whether to push you away or cling to you closer. He cannot make sense of any of it, despite his efforts. He doesn't need any blood, he's sure - but his mind lacks clarity.

Is he afraid or angry? He does not remember how to tell the difference between those two emotions, either.

"We're here for sex, you know?" He says, proactively pushing into old habits. His eyes feel heavy in their sockets, like their weighed by his own need to be desired perfectly. He seduces you easily. Lowers his lids and parts his lips, snakes a hand against your waist and lets you fall forward until you collapse against his chest. "Hot, lecherous, burning pleasure. Such romantics are best saved for..."

You look at him, and you want him. But it is not the same. Even he is not so foolish as to deny something you make so obvious.

"For?"

The words someone you love do not leave his lips, though they threaten to. "Someone more suitable."

"There's no one so suitable as you," You say, and the words do not sound damning. They do not intend to please him. They're not coated in myth or covered in lies. They're like you, honest and rich. "And that pleasure can be found all the same with regards to what I do."

Astarion understands little of you. Never has, in full. He finds your character damning, finds your kindness often irritable. His plan to seduce you had worked, he thought. You had taken some kind of liking to him. Enough that you act against yourself, just to appease him at times. To clumsily win him over by being a little bad, or being silver-tongued.

But you hadn't laid a hand on him despite his efforts. Without taking anything, you shield him from harm. You kill the people who wish to kill him. He'd never stopped trying to seduce you, because it benefits him to play the part of prized possession to the strong.

He thought your acceptance of his request meant you had finally broken. That he could go through with it.

Yet, you touch him like this - as you have been all evening. You brought a bedroll to fuck him in the woods of all places. Your hands are soft, and warm. You're reverent. He's kissed plenty of people, and played lovers even more than that. It was his lifes work, after all.

But it is impossible to deny that you're different, despite his best efforts to believe you are not.

Astarion isn't familiar with your gestures. He cannot hold his ground against honesty when his existence is passing and pleasant - ephemeral as a white lie.

"Astarion," You say, clear. You enunciate his name. It is not intended to have any weight, yet it crushes him. His chest tightens. Aches. It is all so strangely miserable. He wants to interrupt you, but cannot fix his lips to do such a thing "I wish to make love to you. You're welcome to find it unnecessary."

A kiss. Your mouth is warm, and tastes faintly like the sweet wine you had before bed. Your hands cup around his nape, and your other hand keeps you upright. He won't fall for it but his body does not listen, makes him melt comfortably into the bedroll. You kiss and kiss and kiss, and it is well-practiced like you have loved many times before him.

You must know something better than him.

Still. There is not enough strength in his limbs to fight you. His eyes blink open when you've stopped. A scream almost rips from him, but he's frozen in place instead. He can fight now. He could fight this.

The nails he tries to scratch you with, dig deep onto your waist. He closes his eyes. A begging for you to stay.

"Darling, really," His voice cracks. A touch so gentle and unfamiliar may be the thing to flay him open - cut him into pieces and open him up the blackened night sky. His lips feel cracked, hands shaking. "Wholly unnecessary."

There is no way out from this. From his feelings for you. How terrible.

You examine him quietly, then smile like you know everything. He is so much older than you, yet you smile like you've lived one thousand more lives. Maybe you have.

"Astarion," You mumble, your hands finding his hands. You lock your fingers together, your touch making his nerves fire whenever you brush along them. Your free hand ghosts his lips. "Look at me,"

Then, very suddenly, you push your thumb against the point of his fang. It punctures you in no small wound, and you push until the blood spills. You wince, but it's barely there. You let the blood spill into his parted mouth, let the taste of it fetter onto his lips and tongue. It's almost saccharine. He leans up on instinct, latching himself to it. He drinks from your self-inflicted wound with his eyes lidded, with desperation so unsightly.

You don't slink back. You watch onto him fondly. Watch him eat recklessly. Watch him swallow around you.

You already know what he is, he realizes, too late. The weight of your deliberateness nearly buries him. Unpleasant eyes, that know everything about him without any modicum of effort.

The feeling of anxiety, of restlessness well up even deeper inside him. The bitter unforgiving irony of finding intimacy with you lingers still. There is no escaping the thought that it will be you who betrays him first, and not someone else.

But the taste of blood, your blood, washes it all out. The gentle touch of your skin unsettles him as much as it makes him needy. He wants to be adored, and be adored by you.

He wants you in a way that does not incite any instinct. He works against each one trying to look you in the eyes.

When he manages, you are there and you are kind. You want to make love to him. He wants, very desperately, to believe it is possible. That such a ridiculous thing exists outside of a performance.

His voice is soft as a whisper. "I guess it's not impossible to appease you,"

You kiss the corner of his mouth and grin. He doesn't flinch this time.

"I'm quite relieved."

[emssturniolo]

hi emms! would you be able to write about matt and a reader who’s never been in a relationship & just hesitant on engaging/ initiating things (physical touch, cuddling, kisses, hugs) and after a sweet moment or gesture she realizes how loved he makes her feel and is patient with her 🩷

getting comfy :)

pairing: matthew sturniolo x reader

summary: request

a/n: this is my first ever writing ! i didn't plan on ever writing fan fics, but since i got requests i kinda got in the mood to !!!! i also kind of switched the roles a bit from the request, hope that's alright !!! so yeah :) happy reading ! <3

you and matt hadn't been in previous relationships. ever since the two of you had become a tad bit closer than just friends, which was just about two weeks after you met, hugs and small gestures like a hand on the shoulder weren’t foreign.

as you sat on the couch in the boys’ LA place staring blankly at the television, which wasn’t even on, you caught yourself thinking how all the small touches and gestures had practically disappeared ever since you and matt started dating. being the overthinker you are, you started wondering whether matt had only led you to believe that he was interested in you - though you knew he was not that type of person, the thoughts flooding you head seemed more realistic at that moment. your eyes started to water at the overwhelming amount of thoughts running through your head – but you were quickly cut out of your train of thought as your phone rang. you picked it up and read the notification which covered some of the lockscreen picture, which was of course, of you and matt.

 

‘hey :) we should be back in fifteen minutes’

 

matt had texted you. you responded with a quick ‘okay <3’ as you were too worried about your previous thoughts to even think of matt. you checked the time before locking your phone. it was almost two in the morning. you sighed as you quickly went to matt’s room to grab one of his hoodies which he had given up fighting for. putting it on, you decided you were going to try and show a sweet gesture yourself. tonight.

as matt had promised, the boys were back in just about fifteen minutes, and after a quick shower and an ice cream break, matt found himself lying next to you on his bed, a good distance separating the two of you.

unbeknownst to you, matt had also been feeling the distance between the two of you ever since you started dating two months ago. he wanted to hug you, to kiss you, to hold you. he wanted to make sure you felt the safest when he was around and he overall just wanted you to know he cared for you. and as had happened to you earlier, matt was soon brought back to reality when you draped your hand over his side; scrunching the fabric of his shirt up in your hand and pulling yourself closer to him.

all of it just felt weirdly, yet familiarly natural. his hand found its way to the small of your back, and he moved himself to make sure that there was no space between the two of you – he wanted to be sure that if there was the smallest creature living in between you both, it would have either been crushed by your intertwined limbs or that it would suffocate due to the lack of oxygen and space.

matt sighed contently.

‘i’ve been wanting to do this for the longest time. i’m so glad you felt comfortable enough to do that. i always want you to feel comfortable with me – always.’ he used the last breathe he had in him to get that sentence out to you, and once it was said, he let loose and let himself fall fully onto you.

you giggled at the boy as he slowly reached his hand to your stomach and started tickling you – of course, all before you started laughing uncontrollably and begged him to stop.

the two of you stayed in that same exact spot, in the same exact position until the next morning. and when you both woke up, you had pinky-promised each other to do the same every night.

[bluemirrorangel]

As for fic requests, this isn’t a fully fledged idea but I would love to read a fic where Neil is embarrassingly obsessed and head over heels in love with Todd, like we need more content of Neil being like “yes whatever you say” to whatever Todd says yet Todd is still somehow oblivious lmao. Hopefully that makes sense!

you're sooo real for this. I really liked this prompt so I hope you like this drabble :)

the look of love- Anderperry oneshot

Neil never expected this to happen. He’d be the first to admit that his friends were all at least somewhat attractive and he told them openly; Charlie with  charisma and the way his hair fell  against his forehead, Knox’s absentminded charm and his soft smiles, Meek’s eagerness to learn new things and the way his glasses magnified his doe brown eyes, Pitt’s quick wit and the way his jaw set when he was focused. Even Cameron could be charming, the slight crinkle he’d get between his eyebrows when he was determined and the pink flush that coloured his cheekbones when Charlie teased him highlighted his freckles and moles. 

So it wasn’t like Neil had never admired another guy’s looks before but it was different with Todd.

When they'd first met Neil noticed Todd almost immediately. He’d been struck by his deer-in-the-headlights expression as his parents set off for Nolan, Neil watched as Todd's mother dragged him behind her like a rag doll and watched the way he followed her body moving seemingly on its own accord as he stumbled over his own feet like a marionette.

Then they were assigned roommates so Neil had gone out of his way to introduce himself. He'd taken one look at Todd, quiet and unassuming Todd, and had known immediately that they were to be friends. 

Neil had a known tendency to ‘pick up strays’ as Charlie would say, he couldn’t help himself he’d done it with all of them. Neil and Charlie were childhood friends ready to take on Welton just the two of them, at least that was the plan until a ten-year-old Neil had brought a clumsy and forgetful Knox to their table at lunch. Charlie hadn’t minded at first Knox was nice enough and funny in his own strange way, they’d grown close too, the three musketeers, and all was well until Neil came to Charlie's room for study group three weeks later with two new boys in tow, a gangly brunette and a nerdy looking redhead he introduced as Pitts and Meeks. They’d made it work with the five of them. Neil, Charlie, and Knox being a little trio were fine because Pitts and Meeks were roommates and they were close as can be sure study sessions were a little harder now with how cramped the space was but it was fine, Meeks and Charlie became closer, the redhead took to tutoring the other in Latin, and Pitts and Knox followed Pitt’s dry sarcasm complemented the other boy’s odd humour well. So two became five and everything was fine.

Until Charlie got a New roommate in their third year; a pale redheaded boy with millions of freckles, bright green eyes, and a tendency to say the wrong thing. Richard Cameron was weird; he was smart like Meeks on;y twice as studious, he was sarcastic like Pittsie but lacked the other boy’s signature good-natured tone, he had Charlie’s stubborn nature but not his relaxed disposition and he often messed up social cues like Knox even though he tried harder to fit in. Charlie disliked him from the get-go, finding his people-pleasing tendencies and his know-it persona to be jarring, this was fine because Cameron didn’t seem too fond of him either, always rolling his eyes at the others' antics and turning away from Charlie when he tried to talk to him. You can imagine Charlie’s surprise and displeasure when he went down to the common room only to find Neil pulling Cameron away from his usual place in the corner and towards their table.

Neil had promised Charlie that he’d stop taking on charity cases. Lest their whole group become social pariahs. The group dynamic had only just become stable; Neil, Charlie, and Knox with Meeks, Pitts, and Cameron but Neil was sure Todd didn’t count they were roommates after all so it was imperative they make nice. 

Todd was quiet and thoughtful, a little melancholy. He slotted into their group so seamlessly it was almost like he’d always been there. Todd was a listener, always there; a shoulder to cry on or a soundboard always ready to spend his few words on good advice that was always half followed. As well as he blended in, there were moments where his late arrival was blatant, this was one of those moments they were all crowded into Neil and Todd’s dorm; Todd and Neil lay sprawled out on the formers bed to make more room for the other poets, They listened intently to some semi-interesting anecdote Knox was sharing about Chris hanging off his every word, But  before long Charlie and Knox began bickering with each other poking each other sides crinkling Neils bed sheets with their roughhousing causing Cameron to berate them from his perch on the windowsill, Charlie was questioning Knox’s credentials while Knox insisted they listen to him because he was the only poet with something that even slightly resembled a romantic relationship with a girl. And Neil knew none of the others had so much as flirted with a girl since starting Welton.  Six years with no female contact bred a special kind of anxiety within them, and  other than Charlie’s occasional dinners with a daughter of a family friend  the only other person who could even possibly have had a relationship was, “Todd you went to Balincrest, that’s coed right Do you have a girlfriend?” Meeks asked from where he sat draped over the desk, his legs thrown over Pitt's. Todd smiled a little sadly and shook his head “Girls didn’t really pay me much attention, the other guys said I was too plain.” The other Poets all nodded in sympathy letting out slight hums of agreement and understanding, all except for Neil Perry who lay there frozen next to Todd. As the others began to pack up for the night he tried to make his brain reboot because Todd not having a girlfriend was fine, good even, it made sense Todd was a nervous wreck the best of times let alone in front of a girl but Todd Anderson was anything but plain. 

Neil spent the next week in a permanent state of perplexity because Todd Anderson was one of the prettiest boys Neil Perry had ever seen. He’d known that the moment they met the first day back from summer break shaking hands for the first time in the courtyard, he’d found Todd striking with his sad watercolour eyes cheeks rosy from the September wind, endeared by the way his thin wrists poked out of the hand me down blazer he wore clearly one of Jeffery’s, couldn’t help but feel a little charmed by the sight of his light brown hair almost black from copious amounts of gel. This feeling had only grown upon knowing Todd more.  The moment Neil thought he had his admiration for Todd under control something would happen, like earlier today Neil had meant what he’d said he really  was concerned about how little their secret society meant to Todd, had wanted to see him truly moved by something anything really, but he was sidetracked by the look of trepidation in his baby blue eyes, by the way the autumn sun hit his light brown hair making it seem almost golden. he found himself promising to take care of the other boy and he knew deep down that he meant it.

Things only got worse as the days rolled by, Neil found it hard to concentrate on anything other than Todd, a fact the other boy seemed thankfully unaware of.  The poetry lesson with Mr. Keating had honestly been his last straw, the way the other boys mocked Knox’s poem had him growing restless like they’d hear his prose about angels with dark gold halos and sapphire eyes and read between the lines. Then Todd had gotten up and stunned them all with his talent, last minute and completely on the fly so obviously they’d all applauded him (such genius deserved to be rewarded.) and Neil was sure this memory would haunt his dreams; Todd standing victorious, beaming down at him,  lips pretty and pink. 

Neil called an emergency meeting that evening after dinner with the two people he knew who understood romance.

 Charlie and Knox sat on Knox's bed as they watched Neil pace around the dorm, he stopped dead in front of them “If you find someone attractive does that mean you like them?” he asked, Charlie scoffed “No, it just means you have eyes, if I wanted to date every cute person I saw on the street I’d get nothing done.” Neil shook his head “No you don’t get it, he’s the most attractive person to me like no one else competes” he tries to explain. There's a beat of silence before both Knox and Charlie decide to answer “no” “Yeah” they both say simultaneously. Knox turns to his left to look at Charlie, expression incredulous “What do you mean yeah?” he asks Charlie shrugs “I’m just saying it’s completely possible, I’ve seen it happen.” Knox folds his arms “Literally when? I need proof " he demands "Just look at Cameron man” Charlie says rolling his eyes like that explains anything “What?” Knox asks “Cameron, he’s super attractive but I fucking hate his personality.”

They spend the rest of their ‘meeting’ trying to convince Charlie that it is in fact not normal to regularly daydream about making out with his ‘arch nemesis’. Neil ends up leaving Knox’s dorm even more confused than before. He pulls the door to his dorm open revealing a tired-looking Todd clad in soft-looking pyjamas, he’s working at his desk, Todd looks up at the door when it opens, he smiles hazily up at Neil “You’re back” he says voice quiet and a little croaky from disuse. The dim lamp light catches his wet hair and flushed skin still damp from his shower, it casts shadows on his cheekbones from his eyelashes. Neil closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and steps into their room, he shuts the door behind himself. 

Maybe Charlie’s right, maybe it is possible to find someone so attractive you’re borderline besotted with them without wanting to date them, not that that matters now to Neil because he’s clearly in too deep.

I hope this was ok :) If anyone else else any requests don't hesitate to ask :)

[lucidwindz]

billford ramblings

I’m seeing a lot of delightful fics of Bill being sent back to GF as a human and truly adore the premise.

throwing my own hat into the ring; I love some complex psychological horror and or unhealthy yet compelling dynamics, therefore in the AU that only exists in my head (for now), Bill broke out of Theraprism by himself, lands back onto earth and possesses the body of just some guy who was about to die, therefore an empty vessel yknow. His powers would be diminished, or he’d need to keep them under wraps so as not to catch the eye of any supernatural police. The Stan twins have been travelling across the globe to catch any residual weirdness, and Bill’s little fall to earth had pinged off on their radar, so they go to the anomaly place and just find Some Guy.

Bill has to do his best to convince the twins that he’s just Some Guy, and that the reason he’s giving Weird Vibes is bc he came into contact with the anomaly and it left his arms charred, and being able to do some magical tricks. He decides the best place to hide is wherever everyone least expects him, so he joins the twins on their adventures as resident Strange Guy But Kinda Smart and Useful so sure, tag along.

Now here’s the thing. Bill and Stanford get along really well, they’re both intellectuals and they bond over creating strange inventions, much to the despair of poor Stanley who has to make sure they don’t go too crazy and make Weirdmaggedon 2 electric bugaloo. But sometimes he participates yknow, dude learned some advanced shit in the 30 years fixing the portal. Either way, they rly end up bonding.

All the while, however, Bill realizes how much he missed being with Stanford, and becomes increasingly worried about the cat coming out of the bag and ruining this second chance. He’s careful that his demeanours are never too similar to how he used to act, he’s desperate not to shatter the illusion. One way or another, this entire thing teaches him to slow down and cherish something. Still, he cannot fully contain his chaotic nature, it’s a non stop push and pull between his godhood and his growing care for humanity. How does a cosmic, unfathomable being such as himself change? Can they even? Or would that very change tear himself asunder?

On Stanford’s side, he cannot help but find this stranger familiar, can’t help the incessant déjà-vu, anytime he and the man stay up late into the night discussing the mysteries of the universe. But he thinks it’s unfair to pile his trauma onto this random guy, so he restrains himself. Still, it is a quiet scream in the back of his head he can’t shut out. He also realizes slowly that the other man seems to always be repressing himself, and he wants his friend to break out of his shell and be truthful, but another part of him dreads it to his bones.

Still, both of them can’t help falling for each other. Stanford feels like someone finally sees him completely, and this time they’re on equal footing; it is not a believer on his knees for a god, it is a slow waltz as they hold hands. A comforting, soft partnership.

(at the core of billford, I think, is we never truly know if they loved each other. Perhaps they only loved the idea of each other; stanford’s love for Bill is that of a believer, a worshipper. He saw Bill as this clairvoyant eye to finally bathe him with the acknowledgment he always craved, the hole in his heart left by Stanley, to fill with achievements and noises. If a God can acknowledge me, then I must be doing things right, I must be good, I must be enough. Yet when that shatters, and Bill is revealed to be a demon, what says that about Stanford, who reveled in his gaze? As for Bill, he fully saw Stanford as a pawn till he lost him. Is it truly love and regret? Or is it a child losing its favourite toy? Is it mere disbelief that anything can slip through his, a god, a king’s fingers? Even a pawn that he liked a little more than the others, that he expected would remain on his board but vanishes and he can’t help but linger on its empty square? Does he mourn his loss of control or does he mourn just a little bit, the company of someone who understands him, his incessant need for escapism, from his broken home, his oddness, his ‘defect’?)

Eventually, everything comes to a head when Bill has to use his full powers to save Stanley during a mission gone wrong. Sirens blare across the universe and Bill knows he will be found out and sent back to the hell of infinite therapy. But for that moment, all Bill cared about was Stanford’s happiness and wellbeing, because he knew that losing his brother would break him fully. He had to care for Ford, despite his fear of losing him forever. Despite the fact that this would be the end of the road for him.

As for the ending, idk what would be most appropriate. I’d love a happy ending but I think though Stanford will try to save Bill from his fate in theraprism to repay his debt, he would be too hurt to fully forgive the demon. Maybe they part ways, and Bill places a kiss on Stanford’s scarred knuckles and accepts that to love is to lose, and he has to accept that if you truly love another, it means letting them be happy even if that happiness is without you.

I think some of my love for the Jedi’s philosophy leaked in all that yapping but anyways. Might draw or write a lil something for this AU down the line. I like unclean resolutions, they’re both forever stained with the other’s handprint, but would they trace it softly on their skin or cover it up with a high collar. Who knows? It makes no damn sense, compels me though!

[indigos-stardust]

New Four swords fic- Chapter 1

*I'd appreciate if u read it on a03 because that's where my tag/summary is but if you cant for whatever reason, I have it below this cut* thanks for any boost and comment <3

Roaming packs of monsters, ugh.  Usually, monsters tend to be attracted or even magically appear from places with plenty of darker energy. It could be some cursed and abandoned temple or some pit where someone died horribly. Maybe, there’d just be one huge monster claiming an area and its magical stink would attract a bunch of underlings.

Monsters aren’t exactly pack animals like wolves. They just follow whichever one’s the biggest and act purely based on greed and violence. They’re happy to follow orders as long as they get their cut. Which is usually the promise of fresh flesh. 

The scouts said the monsters were following paths. On a schedule. Almost like they’re planning and guarding. That…isn’t right. Something is definitely up. 

The worst part of it is that a lot of the paths they’re taking seem to be cutting off a random average sized fishing village to the south. Lutelin Village. Yeah, Green can see why they had been specifically called to handle this one.

Whatever they’re going to eventually face, it’ll probably seem like even an experienced knight’s worst nightmare. But they can handle it. After all, they’d handled far more with far less. This time they even have armor! The odds are far more in favor since their… “adventure.” Green can’t help but fidget with his fingers anyways.

He’s probably just out of practice, sure they had helped fight against the general excess of monsters but that was just dealing with monsters sprawled out everywhere. Not a real proper fight with layers to get to the final baddie. His gut flares with a hidden anxiety. 

It’ll be alright though, the others are literally following his back, and as much as it sucks that those villagers are probably having a hard time with travelling due to the monsters- This will be good for them! Well, Green and his uh, other selves, anyways. Besides, why would you possibly want “rest and relaxation” when you can just crush the ugly mug of some monster?

Okay, maybe he is spending too much time with Blue.

Either way they definitely have better odds! They’ll just find each band (two or three?) and take them down, easy peasy. 

Every step is going to take him closer after all, might as well keep his shoulders straight and his eyes on the horizon.  

Soft grass and weeds dance in the foothills, with a chilly autumn air as their partner. As much as the others are way too gripey in the early morning, Green knows getting them up early is definitely the right call! The soft crispness of the morning air energizes him with every breath! Practically music, in his humble opinion. 

Behind him, he can hear another kind of music. A playful punch to the shoulder, a content sigh, and a little laugh. Conversation that starts and pauses, only to start again. In and out, natural and welcoming. They have his back. 

They finally stop at the top of a particularly large hill; this is the spot the scouters said they’d seen the monsters the most. If Green looks to the West, he can see the beginning treeline of a dark and confusing magic-filled Lost Woods. He shudders. From what Vio described about the woods, it definitely doesn’t seem like the ideal spot for a stroll. Compared to their “adventure” and all they’ve experienced, the next few days will be easyyyy. 

They’ve barely settled into their spot when Vio, ever the watchful one, already spots a band of monsters practically marching together. A very large band of very angry looking monsters. Nearly time to fight. A cliffside looms in the distance, with the monsters in between them and it. 

“I’d say, I think we’re dealing with about eight or so stalfoes, two spear moblins, oh you’ve got to be kidding me at least two dozen,” Green squints, “uh, tiny plant things?”

Strange little hobbling plant monsters, with sharp teeth and leaves coming from a single bud supported by two stumpy legs, covered the ground near the other monsters. 

“Tiny plant things?’”

=====

For a place full of nothing but rolling hills, Vio sure is having quite a bit of difficulty finding enough room to fight. It’s ridiculous honestly, he and Green were supposed to take care of the stalfoes by directly fighting against them. Meanwhile, Blue and Red were meant dealing with those pesky small monsters that keep trying to bite their ankles! Or jump into their faces. It’s a bit hard to fight several monsters just taller than you while dealing with a bunch of faces full of teeth trying to lunge at you, afterall.

Not to mention, once they finally get in semi-decent positions the moblins thrust their giant axes right in the middle and scatter everyone all over again! He can hear the annoying squish and splatter of Blue’s hammer smashing into another one. 

Red’s fire rod is great at helping to keep the moblins away, but while you would think it’d be great for its intended purpose of burning those DAMN little plants monsters- All it really does is make all the grass around them catch on fire, not harming the stalfoes, and force them to bolt to a patch of rocks while they’re being chased. Of course, the little abominations climb up the stalfoes to stay safe from the fire. Fighting on the bumpy ground only makes things worse in their favor. He really wishes the darn things would be the ones stumbling and struggling for balance instead of themselves.  

Wait… This is a far rockier area- He can feel the rattling bones hit his shield once more as he grunts to shove it off. They all need to be knocked down. With the bit of distance he looks around, and there . A pile of rocks, leading up to a cliff. The cliff is extremely uneven at the top, but there is just enough clear space for a person at the top! 

Perhaps, possibly, it had been a bit of a.. Risky endeavor. The second there’s the smallest opening, he yells out, “Watch out for a minute!” and bolts to the cliff side. Ignoring Blue’s very p*ssed off , “h-HEY! Where the Hell are you going?!!” and Green’s surprise as he keeps on running. Every thump of his feet pushing off the earth ringing in his ears. Or maybe that’s just his heartbeat.

Just as he’s starting to climb up he can hear the rattling of a stalfoe and feel the bruising pain of those small monsters trying to reach his flesh under the armor. I just need to keep going , he thinks as he finishes pushing himself up and begins scrambling  for a new foothold as he simultaneously tries to shake off the miniature snapping beasts. Good thing his ears are protected by the chainmail underneath his cap. 

The crash and shattering of bones with a string of swears behind him urge him to go even further up. When the battle’s over, Blue is probably going to get him next. He hadn’t sounded particularly pleased about Vio, “DITCHING THEM WITHOUT WARNING LIKE A B****H*SS,” or whatever. Despite his current height bringing him farther from the battle ground, he can practically hear Green shout, “ LANGUAGE!!” in the middle of battle.

Finally, just as he nears the top he manages to shake the last of those damn pests off his leg and let his heaving lungs rest, if only for a second. Right, this needs to be quick. Forcing himself up, still struggling to breathe from the chaotic climb, Vio readies his bow. 

While the experience of fighting various types of monsters, for hours on their own, certainly gave them a lot of skill in adapting to the situation he has to admit—the items they gained, namely his fairy blessed bag of endless arrows, are also a huge plus. Sure, they aren’t as strong as a well crafted bow, but they are endless . In fact, he’d figured out that if he shoots two at once, even if that took a while to master, it’d do the same amount of damage!

He smirks to himself, aiming straight at a stalfoes that is creeping behind Green. With a snap, the stalfoe falls to the ground. The chaos of the battle field, swarming the others with monsters, moving from place to place… it’s familiar; it is a refreshing challenge. Others might’ve balked at the daunting task, but Vio is looking forward to it. It’s time to show off.

With the constant barrage of arrows knocking out stalfoes, allowing Red and Blue more room to work with and giving Green a much needed relief , the numbers begin to thin. He’s even able to start getting hits on the charging moblins, stunning them just long enough for a quick burn or slash on them. There are only a few straggling plant monsters as well. 

It’s wrapping up. Vio observes as the Moblin he shot finally falls to the ground. It is time to regroup. Or it would’ve been. 

He doesn’t know what he feels first. He can’t even think to process it. The tension of every single muscle spasming. Millions of needles endlessly searing into his flesh. From the inside and outside. Little pieces of him, like miniature marbles bursting outward. The shock of the constant repeated force fracturing and fracturing. The burning in his chest, he can’t breathe. 

It’s so, so much, it’s too much. Without a single thought, other than the sensation of indescribable pain, he falls silently down the cliff. Even as his body crashes down onto the unforgiving rocks it still spasms. Red screams before Blue and Green even see what happened.

—--------------------------------

I can’t! No, no, no, no, no, no!!!! Red can’t panic right now, but by Hylia does he want to scream and selfishly look away-

It was horrible, and he saw every second of it. He had stepped back for just a moment, to chug a magic energizing potion. They still had more monsters to fight, after all, and his magic stores were nearly drained from using the rod so much. But then he saw a spark to his right, all the way up where Vio had gone. A sparkling, bright white yellow light, blasting into Vio’s back. Now, he watches.  

Vio looks like he’s choking, like every single bit of him was choking and dying . His piercing scream is silently cut off, and then he falls . He falls and falls until his back hits the rocks and he goes stumbling down, blood splattering against the rocks. Red doesn’t want to know where it’s all coming from. And then Vio is there, sprawled on the ground, a horrible finale. He’s still screaming. 

No, no Vio isn’t the one who’s screaming. He can see his bloody face against the dirt. Red is. 

Blue grabs his arm, nearly shaking him as he tells him to LOOK before he runs off to Vio. Red’s shaking, then he follows Green’s startled eyes they lead back to the top of the cliff. He can only stare as a hulking Darknut trudges behind a row of stubby moblin archers, and even more stalfoes that have already begun jumping off to attack them. Oh, and a bunch of tektites. Because, well, why not at this point?

 Red usually tries to stay optimistic, because you can’t get anything done if you always have a bad attitude all the time for no reason but- Honestly? He’s pretty sure he hates EVERYTHING right now. It’s, it’s alright though- They, they’ve got him- Well, well they all would if Vio was down. But, it isn’t the time to focus on that, they have to keep them away from Vio and defeat them! 

Just because he’s terrified that Vio could be dying this very second, doesn’t mean he can just start crying when they need him! He will go on, and he will be hopeful! Because Green and Blue need him, and they trust him to at least support them! Red refuses to let them down. Even if he really wants to go cry in a hole right now. 

Green screams at Blue, “ DON’T MOVE HIM! We need to get them away from him, Red get here and create a blast! Cut them off!”

Red’s already sprinting. Blue’s hammer smashes into another stunned skull from Green’s boomerang. They’re working to get the monsters away from Vio. The second he arrives the entire earth THUDS as the colossal Darknut finally joins the battle. It’s beady eyes, under its helmet land on Red. 

“HEYYYY!!!, come here you, uh, you ugly face!!!” The monster trudges forward, away from Vio and towards him. The Colossal Axe glistens, ready to slice into him in seconds. 

“Yeahh!” Red waves his fire rod, sparkling in the burning sunlight, like a shiny fish in front of a starved beast. “Come here!!!”

The axe whizzes through the air with the speed of a bolt of lightning, ready to spear him into two. Red barely dodges. Before the monstrosity can take an even more petrifying swing, Green’s magical boomerang connects. The powerful thing freezes the beast for a valuable 5 seconds. 

Within those 5 seconds a few things happen. A small series of whistles rings throughout the battle field within seconds, a code that only they know.  During their quest, they had learned that just yelling out to each other with their own plans always ended up poorly. Maybe, they were all just too stubborn in their own plans, but it definitely wasn’t helped by the fact they could barely hear each other at times. Sensitive Hylian ears or not, in the midst of battles words become drowned out easily. 

Green’s message, a mix of quick patterns, order: B-G- Core Threats & Close Combat- R- Long Distance Quick. Blue and Green would take care of the strongest enemies and the ones that required close combat. Red would take care of the archers,as fast as possible so he could provide them aid. He could run and prepare ahead just on instinct before he even processed it. It was a mercy, afterall��� Every second in a battle is precious, especially with someone left in total vulnerability. 

Red breathes in, the blins are readying their bows.  Then exhales, a small yet vicious blast of fire spirals forward causing at least two of them to shriek as they desperately try to put themselves out. His shield is already out by the time the other three’s arrows have hit his shield. As much as Red would prefer to shoot more and scorch them while going in and out, that just wasn’t an option. The best way to stop them from shooting far out into the others, was to get in the way before they could do that. 

Red forces his way through with his shield to break their line and immediately his sword lunges straight into the throat of one of those wretched things. He has to take care of the other monsters, but Red let’s himself smile a moment at the sign of the bubbling blood. Good . He hoped that was the one that shot Vio. 

He has to dodge back quickly in the next moment though, despite the moblins having nothing but bows and arrows, that didn’t make them useless in the slightest. While the armor would definitely protect him from slashes it certainly wouldn’t protect him from their nasty claws aiming at his throat and eyes. 

He hacks away at another one that leapt out in front of him before he even got the chance to orient himself. Keep it steady, keep the pace and breathe. Red tries to slash at one of the monster’s belly, but he’s off balance by one of the burnt ones slashing at his leg! I really need to do better!! Red mentally slapped himself, how’d that one even get there? He seriously needed to keep track of everything or else he’d be hit in his blind spot again. Next time may not be so lucky. His free foot crushes the bastard's neck as he blocks more scrabbling claws away with his shield. 

Red is skewering the one that he had shoved off when he sees the two remaining unburnt monsters dashing toward him with arrows in their hands. What the hell? Oh, the arrows were sparkling yellow with the same crackling sound as a bomb about to burst. It was familiar. Vio . 

All three are charging and from the looks of it they’re trying to trap him with two heading up to his sides and the first one straight in front of him. Red charges right back at the right one bashing into it’s skull with his sword and spinning around, sword first, to face the others. It’s BURNING-  

His sword clumsily sliced into an arm, but the arrows- Those arrows, the moment of contact of it against his own sword make his arm convulse in pain as he yells out. Red’s sword is on the ground. The monster, reeling from its own pain, slashes back at him. Thankfully his armor prevents it from truly getting him. It’ll definitely bruise though. The pain threatens to bring him down, but gasping for air with teary eyes he forces his wobbly legs up anyways. Like the lightning wizzrobe- This doesn’t make sense- Oh great fairies please-

Red knows the dangers of magical exhaustion, he’d lived through it several times on their quest. Vio’s words echoed in his mind, “ Take care to not overdo it! Potions may provide a great boost and aid in recovery, but your body still needs time. You’re exhausted… Green was right about how dangerous it is, besides-” and then Vio softly grinned, “ If you’re too tired who’s going to keep us going? We need your laughter, alright?”

He can already feel the aching soreness creeping on the edge of his fingers. He grabs the rod anyways, and this time there’s a blast. Red doesn’t know quite how it’s happening, but the strange arrows seem to make the flames stronger. They topple onto the Earth and the last half-dead burnt straggler has finished crawling its way to him. Red’s sword in his uninjured hand stabs into the beast’s guts with a wet sound. It dies slowly, scraping at his feet desperate to fight until it's inevitable death. Then, just like the others it rapidly deteriorates into a puddle of steaming filth on the ground. 

[gay-barbarian]

To stay in your arms

So I might have written a Swan/Ajax fic. I wanted it to be romantic but instead they just spend the night together and are too bad with feeling to actually talk about it. Ajax, alcohol and Swan dancing at the club equals the beginning of something more

“Okay maybe I do think Swan is hot, but it means nothing other than I have functioning eyes” said Ajax to Cochise one day at the club they had spent the night at. Ajax was nursing her drink, clearly very drunk all ready. Her eyes were fixated on Swan’s body dancing with Cowgirl a bit farther. Swan wasn’t usually the kind of girl that went on the dancefloor in these kinds of places but alcohol and a little convincing by Cowgirl went a long way. She had taken her vest off a few minutes ago claiming she was getting too hot, leaving her in a black tank top that perfectly showed her brawler frame. If you asked Ajax, taking the vest off just made her hotter. Ajax didn’t know if it was Swan’s natural athleticism or something, but damn could the girl move well for someone who didn’t dance.

Cochise let out a loud laugh and slapped Ajax back “I knew it, you so wanna be with the second in command!”

Ajax glared at her “keep your voice down for god sake! I never said I wanted to be with her. She’s so annoying with her pretty face and stupid sexy voice, like who talks like that for real? All gravelly and shit. Of course she has a really nice ass especially in these pants but… ” Ajax was staring again. “What was I saying?”

Cochise smiled at her friend “How annoying Swan is”

“Yea” Ajax was still sipping her drink, but it was mostly water from the ice at this point.

“Cowgirl is coming back to the table, you should replace her,” Cochise said, pushing Ajax a little, wanting to see if alcohol was going to help the two girls finally act on their feelings.

Ajax stumbled before standing “Yea” She finished the drink Cochise had just started in one shot. She vaguely heard Cochise say “This bitch took my drink!” to Cowgirl before she was enveloped by the music and sweaty body of the dancefloor.

Swan was lost in her own world, her body moving with the rhythm on its own. she hadn’t let herself go like that in probably forever. She didn’t even realise Cowgirl had left even though she had clearly said she was tired and going back to the table. So she was particularly surprised when she turned toward the person having put their hands on her hips to see Ajax. She blinked two or three times before letting out a “Hey”, never stopping her movements.

Ajax was looking at her with an expression she had only seen on her a few times, mostly when they were sparring just the two of them or when Swan was ordering people around. Swan couldn't lie to herself, Ajax was very attractive. The smaller woman could probably lift her up easily and Swan wasn’t sure she was against it.

“Hey” Ajax answered, her hands still on Swan’s hips moving with her. “Didn’t peg of you as a dancing kind of person”

Swan grinned “I’m not”. She wrapped her arms around Ajax’s neck and closed the small gap between them placing her mouth very close to Ajax’s ear “but you’re not either and here we are”. She stepped back a little watching Ajax’s reaction. Evil woman, Ajax thought, growling.

Truth be told, Swan and Ajax had almost made out a few times already. Alcohol was heavily involved everytime and they refused to talk about it. But this time was different, usually they would only get this close in private. At Ajax's lack of answer, Swan chuckled and turned around in her arm, keeping her close. They danced like that for a while, not knowing Cowgirl and Cochise were analysing their actions.

“They’re too comfortable” Cowgirl stated, one hand holding her drink, the other holding her head “No way they haven’t banged already”.

“These two? They’re like the least subtil people I know. Have you seen how Ajax looks at her?” Cochise snickered. “Pretty sure they’re in love and somehow don’t know it”.

“To be fair, Ajax is the most obvious person on earth when it comes to this kind of thing. Remember that barista that put her number on her coffee cup and Ajax was just pissed something was written on it? I had to explain why to her” Cowgirl giggled.

Cochise agreed “She is dense in that sense it’s true, but I had hoped Swan was gonna be better, not sure she is”. They both sighed and looked back at the two idiots on the dancefloor.

Ajax’s hands were now moving on Swan’s body as they danced, Swan leading the way. At some point, Swan had laid her head back on Ajax’s shoulder. “Wanna get out of here” Ajax whispered in her ear. Swan straightened up and took Ajax’s hand in hers, leading her back to their table. ”Just need to grab my vest.” She said while they were making their way to Cochise and Cowgirl who had the biggest smiles plastered on their faces.

From behind Swan’s back, Ajax grimaced when Cochisel winked at her while giving Swan her vest.

“Don’t do anything we wouldn’t do” exclaimed Cowgirl as they left, still holding hands. Cochise burst out laughing when Ajax gave them the middle finger.

The walk to Ajax apartment was quick and silent. As if any word could break what they had now that they were away from the loud music and scent of alcohol.

Swan only released Ajax’s hand when they stood in front of the door. Ajax fumbled a bit while unlocking her door. As soon as the door was closed, Swan took Ajax's face in her hands and kissed her passionately. It took half a second for Ajax to react and deepen the kiss.

A part of Ajax's brain thought about the repercussion this night could have. How Cleon would probably not be happy with Ajax sleeping with her second in command. How Swan might not want to see her after that. How this could be the end of her time with the Warriors if things didn’t work out. But the other part of her brain, the one saying “finally” was louder, so Ajax let her go of her inner doubt and made the most of her night with Swan.

In the morning, Ajax woke up with a very naked very asleep Swan in her bed. It hadn’t just been a dream after all. She wasn’t sure if she would have preferred for it to be one. What to do. Ajax gaze at Swan’s sleeping face for a little too long. You can’t catch feelings girl, Ajax told herself. She tried her best to get out of bed and out of the room without waking Swan up. Her head was starting to hurt letting her know she drank way too much the night before.

Once out the bedroom and in her kitchen she took a tall glass of water contemplating her options. She could act like it was all a big mistake and let Swan know they should never mention it again. Which wasn’t true at all. Ajax knew the alcohol just helped her make the move she wanted to make for a while now.

She could say exactly that. That she had thought about Swan a lot and that last night was fun and she wouldn’t be against doing it again. Maybe not the first part. It was too close to her true feelings and she didn’t want to think about that on that specific morning.

While she was coming up with her plan, Ajax heard the squeaking of her bedroom door. Swan had stolen some of her clothes, not being able to find hers that were in the entrance of the apartment. It definitely didn’t help Ajax with her not thinking about feelings decision.

“Hey” Swan sounded uncharacteristically shy.

“Hey. You slept well?” Ajax tried to sound nonchalant but was failing miserably. Swan nodded as an answer. Ajax tried to fill the silence. “I have pancake mix if you want some pancakes, don’t have much else to be frank.”

“Pancakes is good”. Swan looked at her clothes from the floor. “Is it okay if I keep this for now?” she said pointing at the outfit she had on.

Ajax was getting the pancake mix out and glanced at Swan “yeah no problem” she said trying not to sound too happy about it. Her clothes looked good on Swan, what could she say.

“Thanks.” Swan lips curled into a tiny smile. She sat on one of the kitchen chairs. “Need help with anything?” She asked, trying her best not to blush looking at Ajax arms, thinking of the night they just had. They would probably have to talk about it at some point.

“No, I'm fine”. It was weird for them, being so cordial.

Swan looked around the room, playing with her hands to calm her nerves. She opened her mouth to talk but Ajax spoke first. “So yesterday huh. It was fun…” Ajax wasn’t looking at her at all, seemingly focused on making pancakes.

“Fun… yes it was fun.” It was way more than fun, Swan thought, it was something she had hoped would happen for a few months now. But she couldn't say that to Ajax. For her it was just having fun with a friend. If Ajax would have looked at Swan she probably could have seen the deception in her eyes. But she didn’t so Ajax continued “If you want we can do this again, you know to let go of the pressure and everything or we can never talk about it again and I won’t bother you anymore”. Ajax really hoped it would be the first option. If she couldn’t be with Swan as a couple at least she could be with her physically. She looked up at Swan who seemed lost in thought.

After a pause, Swan answered “I wouldn’t be against having fun again, if that’s what you want”.

That’s how the weird relationship Ajax and Swan kept until Rembrandt came into the picture began.

[silverofthunder]

☆ favorite places ☆

Secondo x Copia

1,892 words || tattoo!AU, fluff, a bit of teasing, first date, SFW

people wanted more of these two so i delivered. i had this in mind already as soon as i finished the first fic. this turned out soooo sweet as apparently it's all i can write now. but hope you like this anyway! ♡

if this isn’t your jam, don’t read this

this is a continuation piece for my previous fic, tattoo in my mind

The nervousness kicked in with more force the closer to the restaurant Copia got. He tried to breathe slowly but it was damn hard when his heart was beating rapidly in his chest and the butterflies flew like crazy in the bottom of his stomach.

It wasn’t like he was going to be on a date for the first time, though it surely felt like it. But he got always nervous in these kind of situations and a part of him hated it. He shook his head slightly as if trying to shake the nervousness away as well. As he finally stopped in front of the door that lead to the restaurant he was supposed to meet Secondo, he had to take a moment before going in.

A few people that passed him, gave him a weird looks but he didn’t mind it, taking a few deep breaths.

It will go fine. Just be yourself, he reminded himself and reached out for the handle, pulling the door open and stepping into the restaurant. For a moment, he let himself to take in the interior, finding it simple yet pretty and atmospheric. A small smile made its way onto his lips as his gaze started to search for Secondo and it didn’t take long before he spotted the man in the right, far in the right.

With a happy sigh, he started to head to him and as soon as Secondo saw him approaching, he stood up and an slightly awkward smile rose to his lips.

”Hi,” Copia said, moving his hands a little as he wasn’t sure what to do with them. Secondo let out some sort of a greeting and nodded before motioning Copia to sit down. Copia’s eyes naturally took in the man, who was wearing a dark green button-up shirt. Several of the buttons were left open so Copia got a good look at the tattoeed chest and he swallowed, moving then his gaze quickly to Secondo’s face.

Secondo was staring at him, gaze intense and a part of Copia felt like he should run but the other part in him was melting. He smiled, hoping it wouldn’t look creepy. Secondo blinked, shifting slightly on his chair.

”Uh, so… How’s the tattoo?” Secondo, his eyes flickering to Copia’s chest.

”Good, slightly itchy, though,” Copia answered and Secondo hummed.

”That’s the annoying part for sure.”

”Yeah,” Copia stated.

A moment of silence passed between them before Secondo motioned towards the menus.

”I didn’t order anything yet as I wanted to wait for you.”

Something moved in Copia’s chest, his smile growing wider as he took the menu in his hands from the table. His hands shook slightly so he had to place them against the table as he started to go through the meal options.

The waitress came soon to take the order and Copia certainly didn’t miss the way she seemed to look at Secondo a tiny bit longer and give him a sweeter smile before leaving. Copia couldn’t blame her, though, Secondo was handsome and surely received gazes wherever he went.

”Glad you chose this place, I haven’t been here before,” Copia had to break the silence somehow as he didn’t want many of those awkward silence moments between them.

”This is one of my favorite places. The food is delicious, you’ll see soon.”

There was a happy glint in Secondo’s eyes and Copia’s heart made a little jolt in his chest. ”Oh, I’m sure it is,” Copia said. ”And the company doesn’t seem that bad either.”

His words made Secondo shift on the chair, move his other hand to tuck at his shirt and Copia was glad he wasn’t the only one who was nervous.

”I have to admit that I’m not good at this. Dating I mean,” Secondo said and before Copia had a time to say anything he continued, a bit mortified. ”I don’t mean that I date a lot or… you know.”

”Yeah, I get what you mean,” Copia stated with a small smile. ”I’m also quite bad at dating.”

Then the waitress came to bring them the wine, interrupting their little moment and this time Secondo barely looked at her, though he wasn’t rude and politely thanked her and Copia did the same before she was gone again.

”She seems to like you,” Copia commented and Secondo shrugged.

”Yeah, well, that happens a lot. It’s probably how I look, it draws people in.”

That was something Copia couldn’t deny. It had been the first thing that he had noticed in the man, after all. But people weren’t just their looks.

Copia wasn’t sure what he could say so silence fell between them and soon the waitress brought their meals. It smelled and looked delicious and Copia didn’t waste time to take a first bite of it.

”Oh, this must be the best thing I’ve ever tasted,” he admitted, earning a pleased smile from Secondo.

They ate mostly in silence, sharing some awkward smiles and looks in between, and the time seemed to fly. Maybe too fast to Copia’s liking. When Secondo was paying the meals – as he had insisted on doing despite Copia being ready to pay for his own share of it – slight disappointment started to creep into Copia.

They both rose from their chairs and headed towards the door, still in silence, and when they got out, they stopped, gazes meeting.

”I… Would you want to go for a walk or something?” Copia asked, not really wanting the date to end it. It barely had even started properly.

”That sounds good,” Secondo said, seeming happy that Copia had asked that and Copia let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.

”Where do you want to go?”

A slightly teasing smirk passed Secondo’s lips.

”Take me anywhere you want.”

Copia could feel the heat rising to his cheeks and he let out a little laugh before motioning Secondo to follow him. He knew exactly where to take the man.

”Here we are.”

Copia’s eyes took in the familiar sight before him, the park with full of different kind of flowers. When he turned to look at Secondo, the man was blinking, surprised look on his face.

”It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Copia said, gently nudging Secondo.

”I don’t know much about flowers but I suppose it is.”

It was obvious the man hadn’t expected Copia to take him to a place like this.

”This is perfect place to take photos,” Copia explained and realization dawned on Secondo’s face. ”Though it’s nice to admire the view otherwise, too. But I’m a photographer and this is one of my favorite places to take photos.”

”Oh, I see,” Secondo said, a small smile on his lips. ”So you’re a professional, then?”

Copia nodded. ”Yeah, for a few years now but I’ve been photographing ever since I was a teen.”

Secondo hummed, his eyes taking in the colorful flower sea in the midst of all green.

”I suppose you would want to take photos of me?”

Secondo’s gaze stopped on Copia and Copia grinned.

”I would love to but sadly I don’t have my camera with me.”

”Then we have to meet some other time so you can bring the camera,” Secondo said and Copia’s eyes widened, heart leaping in his chest. ”Really?”

Secondo let out a little laugh and the sound of it made Copia’s stomach flutter.

”I’ve been in front of the camera before,” the man spoke, now turning his whole body towards Copia. ”I used to play in a band, so…” Secondo gave a wave of hand before continuing. ”And I want to get to know you more.”

Copia was speechless, his mouth hanging slightly open as he stared at Secondo. The man’s gaze was filled with curiosity, though the white contact lense definitely added some edge to it.

Wait…

”You played in a band?”

”Yes, I did but now I own a studio and only play a guitar when I feel like it.”

”Oh, that sounds… cool,” Copia sighed in awe. ”I would love to hear you play at some point.”

Tiny smirk rose to Secondo’s lips.

”That can be arranged.”

A sudden noise made them both startle and then Secondo was cursing, fishing his phone out of his pocket and checking who was calling him.

”Sorry, I have to take this,” he apologized and Copia just nodded, watching as the man went further and answered the call. The break offered Copia a chance to let all of this to sink in. He couldn’t deny the fact that he was more than surprised but in a good way. A part of him had been afraid that the date would just end in a disaster and then Secondo would never want to meet him again. But that wasn’t the case. He wanted to see Copia again and Copia couldn’t be happier.

The man, despite his gruff looks, seemed kind and intriguing, and Copia could easily relate to his awkwardness that peeked through every once in a while.

”Sorry again,” Secondo said after he had ended the call and returned to Copia.

”It’s alright.”

There was a moment of silence during which Secondo shifted, his expression turning to disappointed and Copia had a hunch that the call hadn’t been that positive.

”Uh, I need to go to the studio. There’s been some problems and…” Secondo didn’t finish his sentence, only looked at Copia apologetic. Disappointment settled within Copia but he still understood that the date wouldn’t go on forever.

”I see…”

Secondo stepped closer to him, clearly not ready to leave yet and Copia swallowed, quickly licking his lips.

”We will meet again,” Secondo spoke, seeming to hesitate for a moment before lifting his hand up and placing it gently under Copia’s jaw. The butterflies in the bottom of Copia’s stomach awakened properly and he needed to remind himself that this wasn’t some sort of a romantic movie he was in as he waited for what was to come.

He held his breath as Secondo leaned in, pressing a light kiss to his cheek, and released the air as Secondo pulled back, meeting his gaze again. The butterflies were going crazy within him and blush was basically burning Copia’s cheeks as he looked at the man before him.

Secondo swiped his thumb across Copia’s jaw, his gaze turning more intense as it flickered to Copia’s lips and Copia’s heart surely missed a beat. Secondo leaned closer again but pulled back before their lips met, a small grin on his lips.

”I’ll look forward to our next date.”

Dammit. That man was surely knew how to be a tease.

With one last look at him, Secondo let his hand drop to his side and Copia immediately missed the contact as he watched the man turning and leaving. Copia’s eyes stayed on him for as long as he could see him and then he let out long sigh, trying to will his heart to calm down. It didn’t really work as he had expected, the heart clearly had its own life and Copia had to just accept it. With his heart racing happily in his chest, he started to head home, one thought running on loop in his mind.

There was going to be more and now he just had to wait for it.

[slightly-nerdy-rambles]

Kim Possible, the Tempus Simia, and fun with timey-wimey stuff

So, those of you who follow my blog will know that I recently finished Spoiler Alert, a Kim Possible fanfic following Kim and Ron's kid Max as he accidentally follows a vengeful Monkey Fist into the past and not-so-accidentally teams up with the past versions of his parents to stop the latter's shenanigans. Anyone who's read the fic will also know that I wanted to talk a little about how exactly I envision the Tempus Simia affecting the timestream and how that relates to its canon appearance in A Sitch in Time. For those of you who want to read the fic and haven't reached the point where I bring that up in the author's notes, you might want to turn back now: what follows is going to be rather, well, spoilery. It's also going to be rather long, so I hope some of you like detailed headcanons, lol

So, to refresh, A Sitch in Time follows a villain team-up using the Tempus Simia, aka time monkey, for time travel shenanigans as well as a team-up between the "present" day Team Possible and a future resistance using something called chrono-manipulators to chase after them. All good and well, but the time travel rules seem to... change over the course of the special. Rufus 3000 refers to the time stream as "polluted" and "in flux" and we see a ripple effect of the past changing in Ron's scrapbook, yet it's later revealed that Shego's meddling in the past caused Ron to move and thus disrupted Team Possible enough for the time monkey to get stolen in the first place, suggesting a stable time loop. Likewise, Kim, Ron and Rufus going to the future apparently removes them from the normal flow of time until they pop out of their destination time portal, yet somehow Rufus was able to have thousands of "descendants" (I'm assuming clones of some sort, but either way) at some point presumably after Shego took over. This isn't really all that unusual for a time travel story, considering the mind-bendy and paradox-happy nature of messing with chronology, but that doesn't mean that we as fans can't try to come up with a creative explanation. So what gives?

Well, okay, those of you who read the author's note already know what (in my interpretation) gives: the two time machines we see in that special use different forms of time travel. Namely, the Tempus Simia creates stable time loops (hence that being what we see in Spoiler Alert) while the chrono-manipulators can actually change the past to influence the future. And when these two forms of time travel come into conflict, things can get... weird.

So in my mind, there are roughly three different timelines that give us A Sitch in Time, with the latter ones overwriting the former. We'll call them timelines A, B, and C, with most of the special taking place in timeline B.

Timeline A is a fully stable time loop, with only the Tempus Simia in play, so it would chronologically start with the villains meddling in the past -- but we'll get to that later. Our starting point would be pretty much what we see in the "present" part of the special: Ron moves away due to Shego's later scheme, and with him either not present or "out of synch" with her, Kim isn't able to stop the villain quartet from putting the Tempus Simia together and escaping into the time stream. Drakken puts into motion his plan of crushing a younger Kim's spirit, and he, Monkey Fist and Duff Killigan turn themselves into toddlers to infiltrate Kim's preschool. This almost fails immediately, because the people in the preschool office aren't going to just let some unregistered and unsupervised kids waltz into a classroom (more on that later), but they later manage to sneak into the playground during recess. They torment toddler Kim a little bit, toddler Ron intervenes, they switch targets to him which awakens her kick-butt instinct -- basically at this point, it's the same thing we saw except for the absence of a time-travelling teen Kim.

After seeing that mundane bullying didn't work, the villain team skips ahead to the day of Kim's first mission to try again. Without the added pressure of time-travelling heroes, Monkey Fist and Killigan are just barely willing to let Drakken try his spirit-crushing plan again. But his overly-complicated plan of approaching Kim as preteens, distracting her from the laser grid mission, and planting seeds of doubt that will cause her to muck it up if she does ever get there fails at pretty much every turn.

It's at about this point that future Shego approaches her "present" self and tells her to grab the time monkey and go, which she does. It doesn't take much experimenting for her to figure out why the guys have so utterly failed with it: the Tempus Simia can't change the past, and the villains' meddling might even be part of the reason Kim was encouraged to go into crime-fighting. From here, Shego starts to get creative: using foreknowledge to make enough money to fund her schemes, putting evil think tanks together in times when nobody knows to go after her, and even figuring out that she was the one who got Ron's family to move away and proceeding to do just that.

With new resources in hand and Team Possible effectively broken up, Shego gets down to business. Being much more practically minded than her death trap-loving ex-employer, she returns to the present, catches Kim and later Ron by surprise when they're alone, and actually manages to kill them. Rufus escapes, but Shego figures that she won't have to worry about him or Wade so long as Kim and Ron are gone. So she gathers her legion of henchmen, attack drones, and obedience collars, starts storming the world one city at a time... and wins.

Of course, pockets of resistance form over the next twenty years, with the most prominent being led by the friends and family of our fallen heroes. Rufus and Wade use the former's DNA to "breed" a small army of hyper-intelligent semi-clones to boost the resistance's numbers, and between that, their location near the Supreme One's headquarters, and the resistance members' various skills and gadgets, they actually stand a fighting chance... Except that every attack on Shego's fortress is thwarted after a seemingly unnatural degree of anticipation on her end. As it happens, Shego has gotten into the habit of going back in time to warn herself before every attack against her, letting her retroactively prepare.

The resistance eventually figures out that time travel is involved in the Supreme One's wild successes (not that she's doing much to keep it a secret), and Wade gets to work on devising a counter. The result is the chrono-manipulators, though nobody realizes they work differently (some might say better) than the Tempus Simia. Since the resistance isn't clear on exactly how Shego used the Tempus Simia to take over, they decide to start by going back twenty years to rescue Kim and Ron and recruiting them to stop the original villain team's mucking around in the past. So starts timeline B, and again, most of what we see in the special.

The thing is, a key aspect of the Tempus Simia is stability. It "wants" the timestream to stay the same, even as the chrono-manipulators "want" to change it. So the timestream starts shifting around a little, but keeps the same broad strokes. New time portal gives everyone around the preschool a wave of disorienting deja-vu? The preschool attendants are distracted just long enough for the toddler-ified villains to slip in before class starts, but their extra bullying time doesn't change what happens at recess (though it does change the class picture). Killigan and Monkey Fist get antsy and shoot down Drakken's plan B? The Tempus Simia slaps together a new time loop in which Monkey Fist steals a guardian statue that would have been shortly destroyed anyway, so the only "change" is that it disappears into the timestream to be lasered later rather than getting swept away by a flood or something (and meanwhile, preteen Kim and Ron succeed in their mission and survive the statue's attack). Kim and Ron start time-travelling and eventually head into the future? They would have died around that time anyway, so now they just disappear into the timestream to the same basic result. Rufus also disappears into the timestream? The resistance somehow manages to get ahold of DNA he left behind and start making clones anyway.

Then things really get weird when the Tempus Simia breaks. Its whole stability thing means that the universe is safe from implosion... but that kind of damage also has the effect of erasing the Tempus Simia from history entirely. Ironically, it's the only way for it to change the past -- time is rewritten so that the creation of the Tempus Simia was abandoned at the last moment, and any loops caused by its use are erased as well. The time stream manages to keep itself in shape by once again smoothing over the time-loop changes so that the broad outcome is still the same: that guardian statue goes back to getting destroyed in a flood, someone who had helped Shego found her bank does the founding personally, Kim befriends Ron and finds her inner fire after dealing with a different bully in preschool, and so on. This "smoothing over" gets weaker as the timeline approaches the point where the Tempus Simia was grabbed by the baddies, though, and by the time it reaches Ron moving away, the bank his mom works at just doesn't have any reason to send her and her family to Norway. And so the future is saved, and we finally reach timeline C.

But the Tempus Simia has one last trick up its metaphorical sleeve: just as it "wants" to keep the timeline stable, so too does it "want" to exist. This may not have even been the first time it was destroyed and rebuilt, not that anyone would know with the overwritten timelines. And so, a paltry few years after the end of the Supreme One's reign and the last point in time in which its previous iteration existed, a Monkey Fist who is feeling very displaced in time gets the idea that "time" may just be the answer to his woes...

[helianskies]

[ 3 ] - for PortSpa?

finally getting on top of these last few remaining requests so, here ya go anon! just a few months late! :') check out the fic collection here, and the most recent dialogue prompts post here!

Patch

“Hold still, will you?”

“It’s fine, stop fussing! Just leave it, I— Ow!”

João pulls his hand back to his person and shoots Antonio an offended pout after the other rudely smacks his hand away. Granted, Antonio is trying to clean a wound and evidently does not want the other to interfere, but really, João does not believe the fuss is necessary. 

“You seriously need to stop getting yourself into trouble like this,” Antonio goes on, kicking off the lecture that João has known would be inevitable. 

This is hardly their first time having this sort of conversation. How it usually goes is that João would run his mouth when faced up against some cocky asshole (or, sometimes, a small gang of them) and, when it turned out the opposition was armed, João was not always so good at fighting back—more bark than bite. He supposes Antonio is his opposite in that way. 

But unfortunately for him, Antonio is not always there to step in, and so, that afternoon… he had struggled to dodge every sword that had come swinging at him before running off. 

Naturally, there had been only one place to go to. Antonio had welcomed his fellow adventurer into his home, but not without berating him for being an idiot and going off on his own. Again. You have a habit of attracting trouble, were his words. A part of João, though… doesn’t mind being told off. Not if it means Antonio still cares. 

“I know,” João replies with a sigh all the while. He leans back, propping himself up on his elbows and trying to not wince too loudly when Antonio, who crouches down next to him, applies just a bit too much pressure to the open wound on his side. “Could you— No— I can do it!” he insists. “It will be fine. It’s just a flesh wound!”

“Even flesh wounds can get infected,” Antonio reminds him, however, and somewhat sternly at that. “You’ll be lucky if I don’t have to stitch you back up.”

At that, João abruptly snatches the cloth he is using, lightly smacks Antonio over the head with it and says, as the other stutters out his astonishment, “Come anywhere near me with a needle and thread, and I will give a real wound to worry about!”

Antonio looks up at him. He seems hesitant to speak, to react, to do anything. But after a few moments of just staring up at João, he finally gives a huff. He puts his hands up in surrender. And he says, “I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you, that’s all.”

While it is not the first time such a comment has been shared between them—in either direction—frankly, sometimes it feels like they take turns!—it is no less endearing. João carefully sits himself up, sparing his injury a glance (when a bit of blood trickles down, he wipes it off, and wipes off his worry with it at the same time). 

Antonio in turn tells him to take it easy—even helps him, a hand taking Joao’s elbow as the other takes Joao’s hand—and Joao finds himself almost laughing. 

“You really do like to fuss,” he remarks, tutting. He gives a small stretch, his back feeling stiff, and he breathes out the remaining tension. He continues as Antonio reclaims his cloth without any protest: “I guess I should thank you…”

“Yes, you should,” Antonio readily concurs. His tone still carries that parental-ness, that disapproval, as he glances back up at him, says, “You're welcome," and carries on tending to his patient.

He gives João another careful wipe, and then stands up, heading over to a cabinet. From within, he retrieves a small box and begins to rummage inside of it for what João presumes (and soon discovers to indeed be) some kind of gauze and bandage. 

“We’ll see how it gets on healing on its own,” Antonio says as he comes back down to kneel at João’s side. “It does seem superficial, so I’m hoping—… Uhhh… What are you doing…?”

What João is doing is playing with Antonio’s hair, now that he is back in reach. It isn’t unusual. He does it a lot in fact—runs his fingers through short, soft locks. Antonio doesn’t always mind. But he could see why, under the current circumstances, it is maybe a bit odd.

It doesn’t make him stop, though. Not right away.

“Just helping you patch me up,” João claims, giving Antonio an easy smile. He then lifts his hand and pokes the other’s nose. He doesn’t know why. But he is a creature that always follows his instincts.

It is an affront that Antonio gives a quiet laugh at, to his relief, before he carries on unravelling the linen bandages.

“Don’t worry,” Antonio says. “I’ll take good care of you.”

“I know,” the other nods. “You… always have.”

“And always will,” Antonio promises him, returning João’s smile. "I always will."

[bluejaysgonerogue]

(venting) My Struggle with Dialogue

At a summer camp, when I was twelve and publishing my first fanfics on Wattpad (fond, but ugh), I let a crush/now-ex-partner of mine proofread a chapter I was working on. His biggest complaint was how dialogue-heavy it was, and said I should cut most of the verbal interactions. It felt balanced to twelve year old me between dialogue and description, but looking back it was probably heavier on the dialogue. But reading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott has pointed out to me how much that interaction has affected my writing. I don't know how to write dialogue because, after that and in an attempt to impress him, I just stopped with dialogue.

I don't know how to write banter. I barely know how to talk to real people, and chat fics are always so cool to me because the writers take these characters, impersonate/let them speak, then create a complete and beautiful story from only dialogue. I want to write dialogue, don't get me wrong, but looking at Something Changing Your Mind, Alaina barely speaks. The main character, who is supposed to be a happy child, doesn't talk. Because I'm terrified of writing dialogue. Because the last time I wrote dialogue, it was criticized.

I know, I know. Bluejay, why are you letting this interaction that happened years ago affect you so much? I take criticism one of two ways; it is ignored, or it's taken so deep into my psyche that six years later it still bothers me immensely. And now I don't know how to start dialogue again. I guess that's the nice thing about writing fics borrowing scene from anime/shows, is that most of what's written down is dialogue. Sure, you can explain what was happening and what the characters are doing in a scene, but the important thing isn't that someone is polishing the silver, it's their thinly veiled verbal hits on the other character that matters in the scene. Its the same thing with plays, I guess. It's mostly (basically all) dialogue, then the performers fill in the rest.

I don't know how to improve and lean more dialogue-centric either, because whenever I do it just feels wrong. I know this character wouldn't say what I made them say, but I can't get their words onto the page. Even when it's one of my characters, like Alaina, speaking I feel utterly paralyzed when trying to make her talk. Maybe this is the horrible thing about my limited social interactions, that I don't know how to talk. I don't even observe anymore, as I ate alone at lunch and tuned out class conversations to focus on work the past two years, and I feel like a creep eavesdropping on people in cafes.

I'm just frustrated. I want to do all this great dialogue, be able to hear the characters speaking in my ears, I want to interpret what they say for everyone who reads to hear, but I feel like I can't. I know, I know, 'Can't' is a bad word. Don't put that energy out there, don't think about it or it'll come to you. I hear you. But I also need help. Most of the articles I find look at modifying something that already has dialogue. Not how to pull it out of your mind.

Any tips for making dialogue in the first place? Not formatting, or allowing subtext, stuff like that, but actually making the characters talk naturally instead of like robots (which is how I feel they speak/read).

[arctic-shard]

Okay, back. So this might end up a bit disjointed because imminent cold and my memory is kind of a mess at the best of times. This is also, of course, only applied to my own fanfic. The rest of you can do what you want.

Okay so what's been established either in fics or at least in my notes is that the Cure seems to fully work on Alagaddans - that is, Doc does his thing and their minds are intact after. Odious got death-touched by West and then hit with a shot of zombie-potion by Doc and while its zombie'd body was under Doc's control, its mind was untouched. Doc death-touched and started surgery on the reveller Ardente, and Ardente is fine. Alagadda didn't really notice Doc when he was first there because as far as they were concerned, he wasn't doing anything out of place. You want to murder and do weird surgeries on Alagaddans? That's not a whole lot different from what they do to each other. Their bodies might be zombie'd and janky, but just tear off the mask, give it a new body, and it's fine. The mind/soul/essence of an Alagaddan is the mask, which is inorganic and Doc can't doctor it.

West is the only human that came back from Doc's surgery with her mind intact. West was entirely non-anomalous before dying. She was non-Pestilent, believed in Doc's Cure, gave herself to his research willingly, didn't want to die but fully expected to. There have been other humans that Doc has Cured that filled one or more of these categories, but unknown if anyone else filled them all. But I don't think any of those were really part of it. West's surgery was rushed and Doc refers to it as sloppy, but he never expands on what he feels he didn't get to finish. He certainly would have prioritised the Cure, though.

The first thing Doc does with his patients - well, once they're dead - is sort out their humours. I'd always intended that there was alchemy involved ( though back in A Choleric Nature, I wasn't thinking Alagadda yet, just medieval medicine. ) Alagaddans are creatures of alchemy, humans are not. What if the Cure only works on Alagaddans because they're already alchemy? But what if it only works on Alagaddans because they don't find dying traumatic? What if it's not that Doc has been stubbornly using a 'but it works on magic aliens!' formula for centuries but just that human brains can't handle the trauma of dying? Certainly some went to Doc willingly, and they still became zombies.

Now, West is not someone who had the emotional tools to handle a massive trauma at the time that she died. However, she had gone through some massive character development over the course of A Choleric Nature. Still a fighty bitch at the end, but like so:

West had spent twenty years as a loyal Foundation researcher, but was never much recognised for her work and kept getting moved around Sites because she's bullheaded and unfriendly. And she was being sexually harassed by a co-worker and was dealing with it on her own because she didn't believe anyone would help her. West is at her very lowest right before the story starts.

West's decision to go against Foundation policy - something she had never done before - to make a deal with Doc and team up with him is why A Choleric Nature happens at all. She stops trying to be what she's supposed to be and decides to do things her own way.

As her relationship with Doc deepens and grows less adversarial, West comes more into her own. She's found someone she can confide in, someone who likes her for who she is rather than what they think they can mould her into. She's able to be fully herself, at least around Doc.

West is given the choice between 'be blackmailed by her harasser' and 'get D-Classed' and she gave the universe a hearty fuck you and went to let Doc use her for his research because if the choice is blackmail or die, she's choosing how she dies. She wants to be a Foundation scientist and she wants Doc, so her final act is to claim both - to advance her research by letting Doc Cure her.

Which is to say: Spiritual death, purification, awakening, wholeness.

Nigredo, albedo, citrinitas, rubedo.

West magnum opus'd herself.

Alagaddans don't need to go through this process, they are alchemy. What if Doc's Cure hasn't been working on humans because he's only been doing the physical parts not the spiritual? West was just the first human he'd tried it on who was in the receptive spiritual state.

Or maybe I ought to go to bed.

... Maybe I'm a bit loopy because I'm coming down with a cold, but I think I've finally sorted what's been going wrong with Doc's Cure, why it worked on West but no one else, why it works on Alagaddans but not humans. Something that satisfies all the nonsense conditions I've slapped on it as I've just been making stuff up as I go. Magnum opus, baybeeee.

I need to finish some other non-fandom work first, this is just here to remind me to get back to this ramble once I'm finished up my tasks for tonight.

However, I still have no clue what the Pestilence is or what it does. :p

Back in a bit if this cold doesn't knock me out for the night first. :p

[quaranmine]

one of these days i should write a part two to lonesome dreams with the listeners actually helping the evolutionists leave evo...but that would require me to, you know, write that

[m1d-45]

if my favorite characters wanted to kill me i would simply let them. my only request would be that they do it from up close so that their pretty faces get to be the last thing i see <3<3<3

on broken bones

a/n: you…. you are my target audience.

(P.S: please note that the full fic was too long for tumblr! this will be in 3-4 parts, but dw, they’re all already mostly written!)

word count: ~2.5k

-> warnings: minor spoilers for liyue archon quest, the most minor of spoilers for mondstat’s archon quest, you are literally about to die, and do so but it’s ok i get revived, uhh blood mention but no gore, imposter au things yk? reader is Down Bad for zhongli at one point

-> lowercase intended!

taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3

< masterlist > || next part >>

you never had the highest level of self-preservation.

when you’d come to teyvat, the world seemed so kind, so you never learned to fear it. bugs never stung, any allergies you had never really acted up besides a sniffly nose, and the sun never burned. if you tripped, you landed softly, in the hands of grass that would never dare to harm you, and a breeze swept by the soothe the sting of your palms. the wind carried you down from high places, the water always keeping you afloat, the entirety of the natural world at your side.

or, rather, nearly the entirety.

despite wandering constantly, it took a few months to actually run into anybody. in fact, the only way you knew you were in teyvat at first were the sunsettias, and the hilichurls when you finally came across one of their camps. you have a feeling the dense forests and overgrown paths knew something you didn’t, looking back on it.

maybe you should have listened.

you stopped in the middle of a well-worn path of yours, stilling the sweet flower you were twirling in your hand. a few feet ahead, a stunned amber mirrored your look of shock, though her recognition was tinged with something more… bitter.

“amber?”

the bowstring in her hands doesn’t lose its tension. “greetings.”

that’s not the knights’ prescribed greeting, your mind says. you tell your mind to shut up, because that’s not what you should be thinking about when you’re looking at amber.

you wave, trying for a smile, and emotions you can’t catch flash over her face in rapid succession.

“how do you know my name?”

whoops. “who hasn’t heard of the knights of favonius?”

“those from other lands.” for being so young, her voice is so tired. she sounds like she’s barely 18, yet she’s so worn out… nobody this young should be so exhausted.

after a moment’s thought, you step forward, extending your flower-

her arm moves faster than you ever could, raising, aiming, and letting the arrow fly before you can blink. her shoulders are tense, her chest barely moving despite how harshly she breathes, arms still posed around her bow.

it’s only then that you’re aware of the white-hot pain in your throat, the sting of icy numbness swiftly taking its place.

the sweet flower falls to the ground, your body soon following.

when you wake up, the first thing you do is press a hand over your throat, but all you feel is the chill of your own skin. no arrow. no blood. you check your shirt, but there’s no blood there either.

it’s like it never happened. but you know it did.

still keeping a hand to the area, you sit up, ignoring how your body protests. you’re in another field, unsurprisingly, green grass and blue skies and red birds all around. it’s hard to believe that your run-in with amber wasn’t a dream.

even if you know it wasn’t.

you rise shakily, feeling very much so like you’re relearning your body. how to stand, how to dig your fingers between the sections of bark on a tree so you don’t fall, how to breathe when it feels like all the air in your lungs was in a race to get out. still, you breathe.

still, you stand.

still, you move on.

the earth seems angry.

looking out from the jade chamber, this is clear. the skies are an irritated gray, billowing clouds heavy with rain. they had come from nowhere, suddenly washing in from the north in with no warning, but a single drop has yet to fall. the ground occasionally shakes, enough to make leaves quiver, but no earthquake has come. it’s odd, like the very rock is holding in its breath, waiting for the trigger to let loose what is certainly disaster upon the land above it.

even the tianquan’s gems, normally large, sterling rocks swirling around her fingertips, refuse to answer her call. as she flips over a small coin of amber, the most she’s been able to summon, she wonders why.

one of ningguang’s many assistants comes out of the chamber, telling her that keqing has a report for her, and she tells them to send her out with a wave of a clawed finger. normally, she’d come inside—normally she wouldn’t be out here to begin with—but this… oddity in the landscape has her attention.

the door behind her silently slides open and shut, the clicks of the yuheng’s shoes the only indication of her presence.

“it’s odd to see you outside at such an hour, my lady.”

it’s midday.

“what is it, keqing?”

“this letter came in for you.”

an envelope enters her periphery and she takes it, careful not to damage the paper as she inspects the wax seal. it bears the insignia of the favonian knights.

“that’s hardly a rare occurrence.”

“indeed, but this one carries significant importance.” she takes a breath, an explanation on her tongue, but it dies. she knows she shouldn’t let her biases get in the way of the tianquan’s work, but this situation feels so wrong. her vision burns at the back of her neck despite her attacks doing less damage, the electro that dances across her skin hurts more than it should. it’s wrong, horribly so, but she needs to-

“keqing?”

she meets the tianquan’s eyes. ruby red dissecting her every move, and keqing is quick to look away.

“apologies, my lady. as i was saying…”

the dead refuse to rest.

they have always been unruly, leaving behind legacies and lingering feelings, leaving the living and letting them deal with it. what would be known as the wangsheng funeral parlor was established to battle these lingering debts, and it seems that even after 77 generations, the current director still has to pick up that mantle.

she’s felt it all day. the rowdiness of the undead, the spirits dancing and twirling around where they shouldn’t be. her soul told her there was one too many around, and so she had set her mind on going.

the director adjusted the flowers in her hat, watching in annoyance as her consultant thought over her words. she thought the answer was quite simple, and had rushed to fix the problem, but he was adamant that she explain herself first.

“and you’re certain?”

hu tao groaned, squeezing her eyes shut so they wouldn’t roll. “yes, i’m certain! surely youve noticed too, or is that vision for nothing?”

a glimmer of irritation crossed zhongli’s calm eyes. “this is a matter of utmost importance, director. the dead refusing to die is a serious issue.”

“you think i don’t know that? i run a funeral parlor-“

“director-“

“no. i’m going to wuwang hill, and all i need you to do is take care of the parlor while i’m gone. that’s it.”

“director, please. you cannot throw yourself into dangerous situations and expect me to sit by idly.”

“what are you, my dad?”

“i would hope not, as your father is currently deceased.”

in the gaping silence that followed, hu tao couldn’t decide if she was more shocked at the fact that he brought up her father’s passing, or that he had borderline joked about it.

zhongli cleared his throat, the only sign of apology she would receive. “i will go alone if i must.”

“you want to go-“

“indeed. i cannot allow you to venture into such an unsafe area on your own, and i myself wish to find the answer to this. if you cannot find anybody to run the parlor in your stead, then i will simply go alone.”

names and faces of employees ran through her head, options brought up and discarded quicker than any decision she’s ever made before. something in her soul demanded she go to wuwang hill, her pyro vision an insistent press between her shoulder blades, urging her to leave zhongli and just go. it was illogical, irrational, and she knew that if he saw he’d be worried and when all she needed was to simply leave-

a name emerged from the clutter.

“ferrylady.”

though his jaw ticked, zhongli nodded.

wuwang hill itself is uneasy.

zhongli has seen many things during his lifetime, but few of his memories could compare to this. the ground quivered underneath his feet, only truly steadying where he, as the lord of geo, stepped.

in truth, he had felt the same disturbance as hu tao, but had wanted to preserve his reputation as zhongli, ignoring the cold sting in his soul from where his gnosis used to be. his plan was to go after hours, when the dark could shadow his form, but now that he was here he was glad he didn’t.

the forest’s canopy was denser than usual, it seemed, barely any light filtering through the leaves. the will-o’-the-wisps shone brighter and more frequently than normal, and not a hilichurl was in sight. it was strange, unnerving to walk the familiar path, and he found himself prepared to summon a stele at any moment. the air itself felt tense, his element not resonating right.

how can stone feel hollow?

hu tao stepped closer to him, eyes uncharacteristically wide as she looked around. “why does it feel so… empty?”

he moved a hand to her back, urging her on faster. “i don’t know, ms. hu. please, do hurry.”

her fingers play with the tassels on her shirt as she walks, speeding up at his side. she’s always been fond of the macabre, but this… this isn’t that. this isn’t slow and sticky, raw honey made of skeleton bees that drips through bones and pulls at the hair atop skin, this isn’t the abrupt hit of symbolism or the stop of a heart as you’re face to face with a corpse, the smell of rotting flesh mixing with the bile climbing up your throat.

this is sharp. angular. a spike with every step she takes on the familiar dirt, thorns clinging to the lining of her lungs and digging in to hide from the chilling air. the sense that she doesn’t belong here, that she should leave, is steadily growing in response to the drive to keep walking, and she wonders if and when it’ll balance before tipping over. regardless, she keeps walking, steeling her spine and forcing assuredness into her walk.

besides her, zhongli isn’t doing much better. the air reeks of the sweetness of the divine, and the thundering in his heart matches, but here? of all places? he knew his god—he prided himself on it—and knew that they didn’t like places like this. and the feeling of wrongness, the stone beneath him seeming to slip under his feet and forcing him to walk quicker to make up for it, the claws of tree branches and roots of bushes somehow larger than before. as they approached the stone steps, he didn’t know what to expect, for once. he was unsure whether to be on edge, or to scold himself for being tense over nothing.

surely, he thought, rounding the corner, it couldn’t be nothing?

you watched the water ripple from your safe spot on the edge of the stone path cutting through it, smiling at the way the fish followed your hand when you hovered it over the surface. they were beautiful, some kind of koi by the looks of it, and certainly not what you expected.

when you recognized the wisps of wuwang hill, you had initially been afraid. it was dark, even during the day, and filled with monsters. not to mention it held the barrier between life and death, something you were not keen on ever getting close to. but as the shouts of the qingce villagers echoed in your ears, you decided it was the safest option, at least for the moment.

and it was. there were no hilichurls, no cicin mages, and the wisps seemed to float alongside you, lighting the way for a while before another came up and took over. they’d guided you to the domain, whose stone was shockingly warm. it was the crimson witch domain from what you remember, so that checked out, but for it to physically affect the stone…

you wondered what the archaic petra domain would feel like if that were the case. could stone feel more stone-like? if you were to somehow break off a chunk, would it do more damage than a regular rock? would that even count as geo damage?

you let your hand trail across the water, feeling scales bump against the pads on your fingertips with another smile. you wondered where they got their food, as the pond seemed both shallow and fairly barren, but there seems to be more and more greenery as you look. were your eyes adjusting to the light better, or were they the kinds of plants that only bloomed under certain conditions? but no, that would be for flowers, not-

“who are you?”

the harsh voice makes you jump, the fish jerking back before crowding the water near where you’ve fallen over. your surprise nearly made you fall in, but as you see who’s approaching you, you think that might have been better.

boots stomp over the stone that’s been your tentative camp, not stopping until they land toe to toe with yours. eyes carved from cor lapis glare down at you, cutting any argument you may have had to shreds.

yes, partly because zhongli is intimidating, but…

lighter shoes click and draw your attention, but you don’t get to turn your head far before you’re met with the pulsing black and gold point of vortex vanquisher.

“do not interest yourself in that which is out of your reach.”

oh.

you swallow in attempt to remedy the sudden dryness in your throat, following the handle of the polearm up to meet his eyes once more. his eyeliner looks sharper than on his in-game model, you note, and he has an earring, the golden jewel on it a perfect complement.

his eyes narrow, the set of his jaw making you think he’d sneer if he were anybody else. he rips his polearm from the stone besides you, “what could you possibly be looking at?”

you know this is it. you know exactly why he hasn’t spun his weapon back around, you knew it from the moment his sunset gaze fell upon you. so.. why lie?

“you’re beautiful,” you whisper.

and for the second time that week, you die.